Dear Courtney

Dear Courtney,

This Halloween is a big one for you. You want to trick or treat with your high school friends instead of with your cousins. I get it. I understand. It was a hard decision to make (more difficult for me that your father), but we are allowing you to walk around, hand in hand with your boyfriend, surrounded by your very best friends, and solicit candy in an unfamiliar area without your mother and father looking over your shoulder.

Sigh, it is so hard to let go.

I know you are smart enough to follow the rules. I know you are smart enough to Not test your father's and my decision to let you go with your friends. I know you will not abuse the priviledge of staying out into the dark hours of night.

Last night while going over the details with you about tonight's rules and events, you informed me that you did not want to use your trick-or-treat bag.

Gasp!

You were careful to choose your wording, as to not hurt my feelings, but you wanted to try out using a bag like the other kids. You gave good reason. You're 14. You're in high school. You'll be trick-or-treating with your friends. I tried to remind you that you have never cared what others think, and that you have carried this bag around every single Halloween of your entire life. You kindly, very sweetly declined. I tried.

I try to keep you and young at heart as I can. Truly I have succeed in so many way. You enjoy crooner music, you dress modestly, compared to so many young girls at your school who find it necessary to flaunt their newly developed breasts and as much midsection as possible without getting dress-coded. You still watch cartoons and Disney movies.

I know you are growing into a very smart, and respectful young lady. I am so proud of you and your accomplishments. I know that I will continue to have to let out the leash, and give you more space to explore the world. But never forget that you will always be my first born, my baby girl, and most of all, the very wise words from Grandpa... Be A Kid As Long As You Can, You Have The Rest Of Your Life To Be An Adult.

I Love You Sissy,

Momma

baby prayers

So many of my friends right now are either pregnant or just recently had their children. What a joyful time this is for them. It seems like so long ago that I was there. Well, it was long ago. Nearly 15 years ago. Lol. The joy of bringing a new life into the world to can be indescribable. Blessings all around, stress, love, joy, sleeplessness. I am so happy for my friends who have had wonderful and uncomplicated pregnancies and births. Reading the stories makes my heart sing.

Unfortunately, not all stories are happy ones.

.

Dru and Corrin Morton, are two very dear friends to Paul and I. We've all known each other since the early years of high school. After marriage and two kids they were unexpectedly blessed with another pregnancy. Several complications during Corrin's pregnancy led to sweet Baby Tessa being born on October 18th at 3:20pm. At approximately 26 weeks, Tessa weighed 1 pound 3 ounces.

She came out a fighter, breathing on her own, and not too much longer was able to open her eyes and look and her Mommy and Daddy, and later Brother and Sister. After just a couple of days Mommy and Daddy both got to hold her in their arms.

Today, Baby Tessa needs to undergo a surgery on her little heart, and we need all the prayers we can get for this sweet angel baby from heaven.

Tessa's road will continue to have its good days and its bad, it's ups and downs, but with the love and support of those who know, and don't know this family, Tessa will come out on top. She's a fighter, making small progresses every single day! Thank you for your prayers, they work!!


Also, another local family (who went to high school with us) recently delivered their son, who only lived a very short time. Read more about Colin's story here... Carrying Colin.


With all this heartache going on with my friends, my faith has become renewed and I have been diligently praying, and talking to God. I am so entirely grateful for the blessings in my life.

What are you grateful for today?

lookie what I found

As if Facebook, Twitter, and Swagbucks haven't sucked all the extra mintues of my day, I found a few new-to-me sites that are keeping me entertained.

• Jux was something I stumbled onto byway of Danielle at Sometimes Sweet and boy oh boy is it addicting! What I love, is that I can just jot down a note or something so not-entirely-blog-post-worthy and it's stored for the day I want to come back and scrapbook or print out to keep that memory close. It's just plain cool, ok!
• Gramfeed. Okay, here is what happened. I was getting all kinds of cranky pants that I can't see my Instagram pics (both my friends and my own) on a bigger screen, like my computer, and was stuck looking at them on my little friend. Aka my Droid. Yes, I know... iPhone is cooler, but that shiz is ex-pensive. Anywho... I did some high powered investigative work, like Magnum PI investigative, and Ta-Da! My skillz brought me to this awesome site where I can finally see cool pics! Yay me! Small victories add up people!

That's really it. I know, kinda boring, kinda lame. But what do I always say. You better check yo self before you wreck yo self. No, wrong saying... Sharing is Caring people, Sharing Is Caring!

Now Go Forth and find some cool stuff of your own. Or just check out the sites I've shared. Yessss!

crossfit: week 1

Friday. August 31, 2012.
10:58am

Monday's workout was tough, but super fun.

Tuesday's workout was even tougher, but fun and exciting to be learning lifts.

Wednesday I had a much needed massage and I am not in Scottsdale on Thursdays so this gave me two whole days to recover from Monday and Tuesday's workouts.

I needed the time. My body needed the time. And to be completely honest, on Wednesday night I didn't think I was gonna be able to make it on Friday. My calves felt like overfilled water balloons stretched on a thinning rubber band and ready to explode any minute. My quads and glutes were crying and protesting... you can tell it's been a little while since they've been worked hard. Core and arms were a bit sore but it was that glorious soreness where you worked hard enough to be reminded but not unable to move. Above all, by far the worse pain was in the arches of my feet. I very much wanted to lay in bed and cry Wednesday night because I felt as though I lost the use of my feet. Flat footed, toes pointed... didn't matter. My feet were radiating in pain. I had them rubbed (and good) which did help to try and loosen them up a bit. We use our feet for absolutely everything, and when you don't want to use them, you can't. It's frustrating. I'm not sure if it is because of the Merrell shoes I wear (which have minimal cushioning) or from the jumping on my toes, but my insteps huuuuuuuuuurt!

Today is Friday, and I feel ten times better than I did on Wednesday, that's for sure. My calves are still sore, as are my feet. And my shins are starting to give me problems (that could have been from me racing my daughter to the car last night, from across the parking lot... in Converse shoes... and No compression socks, which I desperately need when I run). But... I AM going to class today at 3pm. It was my personal goal for week one to come to 3 classes, by myself without the hubs. I will accomplish that goal.

The workout today is comforting in the fact that you get to choose your method but in no way will it be easy.
Here is the workout:
WOD: For Time
Weight- Your Choice!
Level 1: In any combination- Stone Shoulder, Sand bag Clean, Log Clean 3,000 (men) /2,000lbs. (women)
Level 2: In any combination- Stone Shoulder, Sand bag Clean, Log Clean 4,000/3,000lbs.
Level 3: In any combination- Stone Shoulder, Sand bag Clean, Log Clean 5,000/4,000lbs.
Level 4: In any combination- Stone Shoulder, Sand bag Clean, Log Clean 6,000/5,000lbs.
Metabolic Conditioning- Yup, Your Choice Again!
Level 1: In any combination of distance- 1,600m.
Level 2: In any combination of distance- 2,000m.
Level 3: In any combination of distance- 2,400m.
Level 4: In any combination of distance- 3,200m.
By the way... I'm a level 1, duh! hehe
I'm excited for the workout. I know I'll work, I know that I will get out what I put it. I know that it is me against the workout, and me against myself. This is the crossfit way. I'll be back later to update on the workout and my feelings / progress. 
Until then...

i made it to the white board

Monday, August 27, 2012.

I made it to the white board! I finished (or rather, survived) my first official WOD!

I walked into Urban Warfit with a belly full of butterflies. I said a silent prayer and vowed to just be myself, give it all that I had and try not to feel intimidated.

The first people I see were Skip Divelbiss and Sarina Brown (both who coach at the box). I introduced myself and noted that this was my first official day. Skip walked me into the gym, pointed out a few things and made some nice small talk, I think more to just get me calm and comfortable. He introduced me to Jacob (Jake) Martinez who was to be my coach for the 3pm class. Cool.

Me being like my father, I arrived 20+ minutes early, and Skip suggested I start stretching and warming up. I began to do so, but then had an additional question. I ran up front and began speaking with Sarina. What a sweetie woman! She was warm and listened to my still nervous rambling and was just overall encouraging. She suggested I come back on Wednesday at 2:30pm so that we could take my weight and measurements and every month we could take them again to see my progress (girls tend to be more into this kind of thing, lol). Great! My confidence was rising already.

I walked back into the gym and saw a few girls my age (okay, they weren't exactly my age... they were more like college) and to my amazement I walked right up to them and began asking questions about the workout. Soon enough introductions were made, and I was beginning to feel the nerves slip away.

Coach yells for everyone to grab a lacrosse ball and a foam roller for 20 minutes of mobility. Okay, cool. A little ball rub on the back, and a little leg roll on the foam roller, get everything massaged... sounds good to me. Except when I actually began to do the mobility exercises, it was Painful! Ouch! Talk about deep tissue. I imagined it alot like yoga, just breathe through the tough parts (there was alot of breathing through, lol).

After that, we gather to the white board and the WOD (Workout Of the Day) is explained to us. Here it is:

Jump Rope Intervals
4 Rounds- Score is lowest round
2 min. Work
1 min. Rest (4th round of jump rope leads directly into row.)
Row Intervals
4 Rounds x – Score is total meters rowed.
500m.
1 min. Rest

Once again, we are to keep our own score. (This is not something that I am used to). Ugh. So... we take our places, and as the 10 second countdown on the clock begins I'm all nerves again. In the back of my head I'm thinking, c'mon... it's jump rope. So what, you haven't skipped rope since you were a kid. You get to start at level 1, single jumps instead of double unders. No big deal...

I get through 26 jumps unbroken and unexpectedly my chest is on fire. I quick start again and get another 20+ in. "30 seconds" yells coach Jake. 30 Seconds! That's it! I'm gonna die! I have a minute and a half left of Round ONE! Eeeek! Okay, get control of yourself. Deep breath. Don't freak, don't give up. Pace yourself, pace yourself... I end up Round 1 with 107. Okay, I was shooting for 150 but that's okay, I'll get it next round. And sure enough, Round 2 I get 156. Sweet! Round 3 I get 166 and the final Round 4 where I was sure that my lungs were going to explode I get 167. Yay Me!

Now onto Rowing. Cool, I liked this part during my Baseline on Friday. 500 meters as fast as you can. Ready, GO! I'm giving it my all, and that last 100 meters I truly thought that there was no way I was going to make it 4 whole rounds. 2:32 it took me. Shit! Paul said to keep it as close to 2 minutes as possible. Okay, breathe. Take a minute. Actually, get up and get your water bottle on the other side of the gym. Quickly, you only have one minute... pretty sure I had a serious equilibrium check there. In fact, the guy in the rower next to me may have even put his hands up as to block me from falling directly on top of him. Water, yes, water is what I need. I jog over, wet my whistle and I'm back in business. Bring it on Round 2. I start strong, but midway my body is protesting and won't let me go as fast as I need to. My pace is slowing, and although this round my time was 2:24 I know that I have to really dig deep to get the next two rounds done. I resolve in my head that it's just two more rounds... just two. You can do this Jen. Count the rows, keep your eyes off the distance until you think you're close. Okay... I can do this... Round 3 I start and before I realize it, I'm grunting and groaning and I am vaguely aware of my coach giving me some positive feedback "Doin' Great Jen" "Keep It Up". And I look down to see I'm at 400 meters, a few more pulls and I'm there. I cross off Round 3 and to be completely and utterly honest, I don't have any idea what my time is. I know I finished at :54 to the minute, so I wait for the next :54 to start my last and final round. I can feel the ache in my body and the fire in my mind to get this last round Done! I motor through, as quickly as I can. Pulling and growling and searching for distance and time and I will not give up! I pull through at 2:16 and I want to throw up, but instead I take in some oxygen, sip some water and start cheering the girl next to me. She's got 100 meters left and I know what that's like so I'm cheering her on and she picks up speed and before you know it she's pulled her last row and we are both gasping and just so happy to have it Done!! We did it! We finished it! Amen! lol

We report our scores to the coach who writes them on the whiteboard, and I leave feeling tired and accomplished and so incredibly proud of myself! What a glorious feeling.

I can't wait until tomorrow's class. I'm still quite a bit intimidated and shy, and nervous. Tomorrow is weights day. Oh please dear baby Jesus let me at least be able to lift the sissy bar! lol

I'll keep ya posted! ;-)

Crossfit after

Monday, August 27, 2012.

Well, I survivied. Haha! Actually, it wasn't too bad. I was certainly nervous, like trying to fill out paperwork and my hands were shaking so badly nervous. Ugh. I was glad Paul was there with me. Once we got into the gym we kinda stood around, and because Paul is still new too it was just a teensy bit weird because there was nothing to do but watch the class in front of you try and pull through the end of their class.

Then our coach told us to go run. It's 400 meters, so roughly a quarter of a mile. No big deal, except A) I haven't had a decent run in over two weeks and B) My nerves had me feeling nausea and running in the humid heat was not exactly ideal. I was trying to find my stride and sucking quite a bit of wind, just trying to calm my self and my breathing down. When we got back I remember thinking "nobody is here timing us? Oh, so it's a warm up thing and not a time thing. Pressure off, kinda."

Next, our coach gathered us around the white board. He went over the notes on the board (about upcoming box events) and about todays workout. Okay... no big deal, it's quite a strenuous workout, but all I can do it give it my all. It included Cindy (5 pull ups 10 hand release push ups and 15 air squats) and I've done Cindy before. Big breathes. Stretch time. Everyone stretches together. Okay, cool. I like this. I LOVE to stretch. I'm rather flexible, and enjoy staying limber. Next up is Strength Training... Overhead Squats and Snatches. Um... (shakily) okay. I know not how to perform these moves. No worries, because I'm not doing it! (Whew!) I get to Baseline. Huh?

Yes, coach sets everyone else up with their strength training moves (I stand by and watch his demonstration, ah... so he shows you what to do then walks around and helps you out. Cool). Back to me. Okay, we are going to Baseline. I will perform the following for time: 50 Air Squats, 40 Butterfly Sit Ups, 30 Hand Release Push Ups, 20 Pull Ups, and Row 500 Meters. GULP! He demonstrates each move, giving me the option to do strict or assisted push ups (you know I did assisted) and then he was kind enough to listen to my terrified and trembling voice state that I have never in my life performed a pull up. No Big Deal....they've got rubber bands. Like Big Girl rubber bands to help you get up there and assist you. It was a BIG rubber band and I was sure when I ran though a few reps for him that it was too light and not challenging enough for me. He smiled and said that it would be fine. Okay, Jen... going for time. Ready Set GO!

And I begin. Air squats, I got those.... Not Unbroken of course (lol). I think I got to 29 unbroken, then took it 4-5 at a time. A bit winded and quads-a-burning I controllably collapsed onto the ground and started in on my butterfly sit ups. I got to 20 and then somehow lost count around 27 (was is 37, maybe I was wishing it was 37). I went with 30 and set out for my last 10. At this point the burning in my core has replaced the burning of the quads. Oh good. Now roll over. Hand release push ups. I got to 18. I wanted to cry because my shoulders were on fire and I still had 12 to go. Two at a time, I got through them. Whew. Arms.Are.Jello. Take a quick sip of water, and walk over to the pull up bar. Dear God Almighty. How on earth am I gonna do this. Oh that's right.. Big Girl rubber band. (Thank you sweet baby Jesus). I climb atop the stool and can't seem to pull the band down to get my foot into it. Shit. I try just getting my foot up and into it (yeah, try standing on a stool and raising one leg up to your face and into a protesting rubber band... I'm gonna eat it!) Thankfully, a good Samaratin of the box (mid-his own workout) came over and held it down so I could get my foot it. Nice guy. And we're off. I'm pulling myself up, trying to bounce off the band and get whatever spring it gives me to get chin up to that damn bar. I'm literally bouncing all over the place, not just up and down but in front, in back, to the sides... I can't keep still and look like a damn fool. But I keep using that band to bounce this big girl up. Pulling and aching and burning I get through my 20 (if I'm being completely and utterly honest, I would have counted at least two of those no rep, but my body just would not do it, I swear I gave it everything!). I jumped down and walked over to the rower and happily sat down to bang out the last of my workout. 500 meters. Coach yells 6:49 Jen, doing great. Cool, I got this. Sit down, strap feet in, sip water bottle quickly and pull. 3 meters. Pull, 2 meters, Pull, 4 meters. And I continue to pull a bajillion times, each hundred I hit I quickly do the math in my head to calculate how much more, how much longer. My arms are sore, my quads are sore, and my chest is burning within... almost there, almost there. And before I know it... I yell TIME!!!

I look for a clock. I look at my coach, he's busy. I call him, but he doesn't answer. The Nice Guy acknowledges my finish and congraulates me (and might I just say, he was super Nice Guy the entire time yelling over his shoulder every few seconds that I did was doing a good job and to keep it up, Super Nice Guy).

My breathing slows, I take a sip of water, and before I realize it coach is in front of me. "When did you stop?" he asks. I stare, like I can't respond. After another prompting, I look at Nice Guy and start rambling that I don't know. I tried to call him and I tried to find a clock, and I even yelled TIME. Nice Guy says "Like, Five Minutes Ago" and I'm fairly confident he's being fececious and coach looks at me a gives a little lol and says, "so like three three and a half minutes ago." And again, with no concept of time I stare blankly and blush. "Ok" and he walks away.

I get up and walk around and am truly surprised that I feel super woozy and my legs and arms like jello. I decide to watch the workout. Actually, I wasn't asked to join in, and I think coach knew I was pretty well spent. To my shock, I started to feel the nerves again, followed quickly by a wave of lethargy and straight up naseau. "Oh my God," I think. "I'd better not faint. I'd better not throw up. What the hell is going on. I've done tougher workouts that this. Maybe I didn't eat enough today. Holy mother, keep me together. Please don't get sick."

And I didn't. Thank God.

Watching the workout, seeing how hard these people were working, seeing how hard the hubs was working, made me question if I can really do this. Do I want to do this? Yes. Yes I do... I've made the commitment til the end of the year, and I will give it my all. I may not be the fastest, or the fittest, or the strongest. But I will give it my everything and I will not give up. And I will be better than I was yesterday. Yes.

After the workout, I glance at the white board and see that the coach has my Baseline time at 7:02. I know that can't be right. He must not have counted the row, which was 2:38. So am I officially declaring my baseline time at 9:40. Under 10 minutes is okay with me. If I (roughly) refer to this link I am a classified Beginner (although I'd give myself the benefit of the doubt and say Novice, right people? lol) and am thoroughly happy that I did not come close enough to the 11 minute cut off time. I can only improve from here. And that is what I plan to do.

Next workout: Today at 3pm. It's Metabolic Conditioning... 4 rounds of jump rope and row. This I can handle. This I can stomach. Going to my first class by myself. It is currently 1:52pm, and yes my nerves are still there. But... this is the class I want to be in, an I will go in there are try and make as many friends as I can (maybe I'll even become the coach's pet, lol).

before Crossfit

Friday. August 24, 2012.
I have made a commitment to my husband, and to myself that I am going to try Crossfit. This is something that has become very near and dear to my husband, given that his father is very much alive today because of Crossfit and the wonderful community within it.

I want to Crossfit. Really, I do. But I can honestly say that right now, at this very moment... I Do Not have the confidence. I am scared. I am nervous. I am afraid.

The Pros.
I want to Crossfit to be fit.
I want to Crossfit to be the strongest I can be.
I want to Crossfit to challenge myself, physically and mentally.
I want to Crossfit because I know and love the community within it.
I want to Crossfit to honor my Dad's memory.
I want to Crossfit to make my husband and my father in law proud of me.
I want to Crossfit to make me proud of myself.
I want to Crossfit because there are so many people who overcome much more of life's hurdles than just fear.
I want to Crossfit to be the best I can be.

The Cons.
I'm scared that I won't be able to mentally challenge myself.
I'm scared to give up.
I'm afraid of injury.
I'm nervous to meet new people.
I'm nervous to work out with my husband. (In my eyes, he's a beast, and quite intimidating in the gym, lol).
I'm shy.
I don't want to let anyone down. Especially myself.

Regardless of all these conflicting feelings, here I sit... nearly 5 hours from my committed time to show up at Urban Warfit. I'm Day One into Aunt Flows visit (which I would normally use as an excuse to skip the gym). My body racks with fear every 20 minutes or so, I feel the blood drain from my face and my ears ring high pitch while my tummy is in knots and somersaults while trying to decide if it should empty its contents here and now or while at the gym during the workout. (How ultimately embarrassing).
But I have made a commitment. To my man, and to myself. The hubs will be there. He assures me the coaches goals are not to chew me up and spit me out, nor embarrass the poo out of me (except for when I have to introduce myself, ugh to public speaking). We have chosen to go to the late Friday class because statistically these are the smallest classes (you mean CF beasts skip a WOD to go out on a Friday Night?). My sweet husband has tried to put me in the best possible position for what is in store for me at the start of this hopefully-not-to-short journey into Crossfit.

It is my intention to give it my all. 100 percent.
It is my intention to show my coach, my husband, and myself that I have that small glimmer of possibility and am not a total loss in the Crossfit world.
It is my intention to enjoy the process. There is so much to learn, both physically and mentally and this is what I crave (and yet, what I fear).
It is my intention to commit myself to this life and to redefine myself, mind body and soul.

Here goes. Wish me luck. And by this time tomorrow I pray for the intensity and excitement for this sport that I so badly want to be apart of.

Heads Up....

Source: thrustr.tumblr.com via JenCoen on Pinterest

A Slew of CrossFit posts are about to ensue. These are the ones that I hid from you. I wanna come clean. I want an honest and loving relationship with you. Just promise you wont judge or make fun or laugh or say mean things. I wrote these with the intent on keeping them totally personal, all to myself.

Sooooo, yeah. Listen to your mother, or rather my mother and follow this simple rule... "If You Don't Have Anything Nice To Say, Then Don't Say Anything At All".

Got It! Cool!

Thanksies!!

PALEO

Hi world... how was your weekend? Mine was full of Some-Awe... also known as Awe-Some! See what I did there... I know, I know... Genius.

I know you're looking at today's blog title and going "what the heck is Paleo and what the heck does it have to do with your weekend?" I know this because I can read your mind. Right through your computer. Don't believe me? You are now thinking of Jello. No? Okay, just kidding. I can't read your mind. Wouldn't that be super cool if I could though!

Moving on. Or, back... to the Paleo thing.

So, for those of your that do better with visual aides here is the 'meat and sweet potatoes' version of Paleo.

And for those of you who want to "Extra Extra Read All About It", Google It!

I know, I know... you're probably thinking that Paleo looks like no fun. But I swerrr, it's not that bad! Check out Melissa Joulwan at The Clothes Make The Girl for the Yes and No List.

Allright, now that we got that out of the way... you wanna know what Paleo has to do with my weekend?? Well, Saturday the hubs and I went to our CF Box (that's CrossFit Box, for you non-CrossFitters, lol) Urban WarFit CrossFit and participated in the Warfit 30 Paleo Challenge!! Here's how it went down...

8am... Measurements, Weight, and Pictures. I got there 20 minutes early (I am my fathers daughter, for sure). I was numero uno and totally nervous.

9am... Baseline WOD (Workout Of the Day). 500 meter row, 50 Air Squats, 40 Sit Ups, 30 Push Ups, 20 Pull Ups (I did mine with a black band). Mind you... this is after warm up which consisted of a 400 meter run, and 20 minutes of mobility/stretching. There were 3 heats (or groups, if you will). The hubs and I were in heat 2. Wanna see a pic...

That's the hubs with the (new) orange shoes.... and that's me in the construction orange shirt, all blurry and pulling away. So, the point of a Baseline is to see where you are at, physically. At the end of the challenge, on November 17th we will do the exact same thing. Based on the benefits of a Paleo lifestyle, we should see improvements. I'll post my befores and afters at the end of the challenge. I don't wanna jinx myself in any way shape or form. LOL

10am... Paleo Seminar. We got some really great information and inspiration, went over the basics of Paleo and was encouraged to search all over the great wide web for more information. It was awesome, and the best part was I got to meet a bunch of like minded people who are with me in this journey. It's very cool.

Needless to say, I spent Sunday COOKING! Holy Cooking! I was in that kitchen from 9am til nearly 9pm! It was cray-cray! Aren't you just the least bit curious of what was on the menu? Well, sharing is caring... so here ya go party people...

• Scrambled 12 Eggs with Organic Turkey Chorizo, Onions, Bell Peppers, Spinach and Jalepenos
• Slice and Roast 10 Sweet Potatoes for Sweet Potato Chips
• Halve 7 Sweet Potatoes and Bake (those went into the freezer after cooked)
• Halved and Baked a Spaghetti Squash (half went into the freezer)
• Halved and Baked an Acorn Squash (went in freezer)
• Roasted 4 pounds of Broccoli (yes, we eat that much broccoli)
• Cooked down 2 bunches of Kale with Garlic and Lemon Juice
• Made Paleo Lemon Blueberry Donuts
• Made Crockpot Chicken Verde 
• Grilled 8 Chicken Breasts
• Grilled 12 Turkey Burgers
• Cut and Cleaned 4 Whole Stalks of Celery Sticks

This will feed my family until about Wednesday, maaaaaaaybe Thursday. But I already have my next grocery list started. Here is the great thing... my whole family is in on this. The hubs, and both the teen and pre-teen. It has been really awesome to watch both of my kids become very inquisitive and thirsty to know more about eating clean and working hard. But that's totally another post!

To conclude my (very) long post on Paleo... this is what I'm into, this is what my family is into. We've been eating paleo for about 3 months now, not nearly as strict as will be required during the next 30 (now 28.5) days in order to WIN this challenge. It has been a road of small adjustments to get to this place, and I know with the challenge in place it is going to take many more small adjustments to WIN. In all honesty, this challenge is really Me against Myself. It is me making the daily, hourly, and minutely choices to stick with this wholeheartedly, 100%. No matter what the outcome of the challenge at WarFit, we will all be winners for giving it out all. I'm excited about it! I'll keep you updated!

FF no.1

FF = Fast Forward in our house. But for the sole purpose of this blog, we will be using FF = Fun Facts! As in... Fun Facts, about me. In case you care, or are stalking me (in that case I'd write these down if I were you).

1.  I read scrapbooking blogs. Like every day. Even though I've scrapbooked all of 4 pages this entire year! I still love looking at scrapbooking art! It's a fav of mine! Want me to share some of my favorite blogs? Too bad, here they are anyway. lol

Ali Edwards 

Cathy Zielske

Elizabeth Kartchner

Allison Waken

2.  I have recently (as in this year) become addicted to Swagbucks! You earn 'bucks' for watching videos, playing games, taking polls and surveys, and other cool stuff, and you use your 'bucks' to buy cool stuff like gift cards (I've almost got enough 'bucks' for a $100 gift card... yeah boiiii!) Who doesn't love free money!

3.  I know it's Halloween and all, but I don't watch scary movies. Ever! Part of it is because I watched McGee & Me : The Not-So-Great Escape (Christian movie that basically shows when Nick sneaks out to a movie his parents didn't want him seeing, he has nightmare... parents were right). Part of it is because I tried watching a scary movie when I was 14 or 15 (I think it was Freddy or something, I just remember camping and a chainsaw) anyway, I spent the entire movie covering my eyes and trying to cover my ears at the same time. You can't unsee that nasty stuff. 

4.  I drink my coffee black. Yep. I gave up the sugary creamers back in 2010 when I went through some food testing. It's just not healthy, BUT... I'm still a sucker for a Skinny Vanilla Latte or PSL from Starbucks every once in a while (those are both loaded with sugar, too).

5.  I live with my husband. I work with my husband. That's a whole lotta husband around. Don't get me wrong, it can be pretty amazing, but it has is weary moments too. Not everyone can work with their spouse. Thankfully, we can. Whew!

That's all I got for now. Got any FFs for yourself? You should totally blog about them. Because its fun. And who doesn't like fun!

OK, so here's the thing...

I know I've been absent on this blog, like really absent.
I know my 'blogging style' doesn't really follow a curriculum or layout or have any sense of direction.
I know I've got all of two readers left (and I love them dearly).
All these thing I know...

But what you don't know is...

I've been blogging in secret.
I've been blogging here, on this blog, just not posting them (they are all saved).
I've been blogging about things that (obviously) I wasn't sure I wanted to share with the WWW.

And then, I came to this really wonderful realization...

I Don't Care.
I don't care if my readers agree with me and my words or not. (Sidenote: I DO Care about my readers, because for the most part they are my friends and my family, so don't go twisting this around, I Care about YOU, just not about censoring my own thoughts as to not piss you off, does this make any sense? The point is, I really like you, Call Me Maybe?)
I don't care if my blog isn't cool, or crafty, or consistent (the letter of the day seems to be C, lol).

Because this is MY blog! I can say what ever the heck I want!
I can curse like a sailor, I can share some rhymes (okay, maybe not... some of them are embarrassing, lol), I can write about my day, I can write about religion or politics or cartoons! I can do what ever I want because this tiny space in the world of all things online is My space (well, not my MySpace, but you get what I'm saying, right?)

I'm just gonna write what I want, share what I want, say what I want. Most of the time this will sound as though it's coming from brain to keyboard through fingers without the hint of any internal filter... yeah, that sounds honest. Sometimes I'll post something and sit on it before I actually share it (like a few I've got coming in the future). Sometimes there will be words, other times not. Sometimes there will be pictures, other times not. Sometimes there will be links, other times not (you get the picture, right).

The point is this. I want this blog to remain personal to me, while sharing the things that I do not want to forget (like the previous post, Dear Cameron). Mostly, this will be about me right now (like Right Now, Right Now... not Later, Later?) (Another Sidenote: I should add here that most of you probably won't get my humor unless you are a fungi, you've met me in person, or seen video of me [maybe I should Vlog, hmmm...] but we shall work on these kind of things together.) 

What I've noticed while going back on the archives here (also known as the Day's of my Life) is that I tend to go through phases. That's totally normal, right? From Scrapbooking, to crafting, to baking, to photography, to gym rat, to grieving... you all remember. Anywho... I'm back at it with a new obsession in life (that you will hear more and more and more about) and I can't wait to share! Yay me, Yay you!

Okay, lemme wrap up the ranting (though, this is what most of my post will sound like... aka ridiculous nonsense). Just... stay tuned. If you want to.... okay, pretty please?

Dear Cameron

Dear Cameron,

This morning, as I walked into the kitchen from dropping your sister off at High School you were standing on the stairs. It was early, there wasn't enough coffee in my system, hence my sour attitude. But as I looked over at you, you smiled and asked "Do you like my hair"? It took me a minute to realize that it was combed, with gel in it! I smiled at you and said "Yes. It looks really good." "I did it myself, so it looks allright?" You asked. My heart opened wide and I smiled as I said "Yes, it looks awesome Bud, I Love It!"

I know that today is you are your girlfriend Brooke's 1 month anniversary. I know you have a plastic purple heart filled with her favorite candy, Skittles, that you plan on giving her today. My heart swoons at these little moments where I can see that you are slowly changing into a young man.

I don't want to forget these moments.

Please don't be in a huge rush to grow up. Remember, a very wise man once told me "Be a kid as long as you can, you have the rest of your life to be a grownup."

I love You Bubba.

Mom