tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63513273969878012562024-03-14T07:19:58.144-07:00something Big is coming...JenCoenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08586574916200155726noreply@blogger.comBlogger657125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6351327396987801256.post-65855880771253085662020-09-21T18:52:00.002-07:002020-09-21T18:52:31.345-07:00It's been a hard day's nightLast night I had a breakdown. An emotional breakdown. <div><br /></div><div>It was a typical Sunday Funday with friends. We hung out in the pool, sipped on Aperol Spritz, laughed and lounged. As we were gearing up for family dinner, my Mom facetimed me. I love being able to see her even though I can't touch her. Dumb Coronavirus. I noticed she was quieter than usual, and seemed upset. Once I asked her what was wrong she started huffing and puffing. She was annoyed that my Dad wasn't home. </div><div>My chest felt heavy. Today is the day. The day I have to remind my Mom that Dad passed away (nearly 10 years now). </div><div>I tried the usual deflection tactics. I asked about her day, what she was wearing, how was dinner, what'd you eat. Then out of nowhere she started crying, and I mean sobbing. It shook me. </div><div><i>"Dad is with that woman."</i></div><div>"What woman?"</div><div><i>"That older mexican woman. The skinny one."</i></div><div>"Mom, Dad isn't with any other woman. He loves you. But you know, he's gone."</div><div><i>"He hasn't come home the last few nights. He's with her. I made him dinner and he didn't even eat it."</i></div><div>"Mom, Daddy is in Heaven, remember?"<br /></div><div><i>"I know, but he forgot to pick me up. He just left me here and he's with that woman."</i></div><div>"Mom, Dad's dead. He's been dead for 10 years. Remember his funeral? We buried him! He's gone!"</div><div><i>"I just cant sleep."</i></div><div><br /></div><div>By this time, my husband comes out to look for me, and I am quite clearly choking back tears. </div><div><br /></div><div>"Mom, Paul just got here, do you wanna say Hi?"</div><div><i>"Oh yeah, Hi Paul."</i></div><div>...</div><div>While he is having a sweet chat with mom, I am off to the side feeling so sick. Emotionally and physically sick. After a bit, mom says she has to go, we all say our goodbyes, and almost as quickly as I hit the red end call button I burst into tears. My legs were spaghetti, and I just wanted to fall to the floor and sink through. </div><div><br /></div><div>I knew this day would come. The day I have to remind my mom that the love of her life, who seems very much real and alive in her world, had passed away nearly a decade ago. I just didn't think it would be so soon that she wouldn't remember. </div><div><br /></div><div>It was another unpleasant reminder that this disease knows no limits or boundaries. It doesn't care that her failing memory cuts me deep, and causes me the recurring pain on knowing she doesn't remember or understand that Dad did not leave her willingly. He was called Home by our Heavenly Father, where she will one day join him. I hope that day doesn't come too soon.</div>JenCoenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08586574916200155726noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6351327396987801256.post-76660353471902374562020-05-07T18:12:00.000-07:002020-06-01T16:53:01.635-07:00December 4, 2018Sitting in the posh Scottsdale waiting room, the cool blue and calming taupe color scheme designed to keep new patients like me from screaming out what is inside our minds. As they walk Mom and I back to the small one bed examination room, I can barely find room to put my purse down. I'm gonna want to take notes on my cell phone. We enter the room and Mom wants me to sit on the bed while she sits in the chair next to the mobile desk shoved in the corner of this cell/room. The medical assistant takes Mom's vitals, making small talk and cracking jokes. She looks to be expecting but it's entirely too early to tell or make question about the matter, so we stick to conversation like the weather. Mom pays no mind to the tension surrounding my entire body, one of the signs I now know as whats to come. When the medical assistant leaves, it feels like eternity in the little room. I continue to make small talk with Mom, making silly comments on the sailing decor that was chosen for this particular room. <i>Must've been a small boat.</i><br />
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Finally the Nurse Practitioner walks in. She's nice enough, an older lady but not by much, late sixties perhaps. She is very sure of herself, a tad haughty, but not in an elitist way; more along the lines of assurance than arrogance. She asks Mom a few questions, friendly questions, but I can tell she is still semi-inquisitive. When Mom answers, her replies don't exactly pertain to the conversation, another sign of what I already know. As the moments move on, and I am under the assumption that we are awaiting the actual doctor to join us (although I am unsure how we are ever going to fit another body in this cramped room), the NP starts in on the testing results. She jumps the gun on me so I missed a few of her very fancy medical words at first. When I ask for her to slow down she gives me side eye and slows her pace about one-tenth of a second. <i>Thanks lady.</i><br />
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Almost without stopping on a beat she breezes past the information that we came to know.<br />
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<i>So based on your fancy medical testing and all the bullshit we have put you through the last two months as suspected you have Frontal Temporal Lobe Dementia and specifically the most common Alzheimer's so we are going to go ahead and write you a prescription to help slow the process the best we can because fingers crossed there is no cure and well not much we can do. Any questions? Here, take a lollipop.</i><br />
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OK, so maybe it didn't go exactly like that. But she flew through the words Dementia and Alzheimer's as if they were apart of everyone's daily vocabulary. It was stunning and maddening and even though I knew it in my bones, it was still a gut punch to the system. While I was busying myself with trying take all the notes I can (and lets be real, I was trying not to burst out into tears and fall on the floor in the most dramatic way imaginable), Miss bedside manner over there was asking Mom all these important questions and laying down all the imperative rules like:<br />
-You can't live alone<br />
-You can't drive<br />
-You shouldn't use the stove<br />
-You need someone to give you your medications twice a day<br />
-Make sure you eat for every meal<br />
-Go to bed no later than 10pm<br />
-Get up by 9am<br />
-Get into a support group<br />
Mom just smiled and nodded and said "My brother lives with me but he left and his friend is a girl and she is still living in my guest room but I don't know her name and my daughter said she has to leave because my other daughter has to move in". (Yes, that <i>actually </i>happened, long story for another book).<br />
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We were given our prescriptions, our next appointment was scheduled and we were quickly whisked out of the tiny chamber they call an exam room and before I know it we are back in the car sitting in traffic heading home.<br />
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The thoughts were racing through my brain on what we had just gone through. In such a short amount of time my worst suspicions were realized, and I was trying to wrap my head around how our whole world was about to change. Hard as I might the panic was starting to set in. She can't drive, she can't be alone, she shouldn't cook... she'll forget how to eat, she'll forget us, she'll eventually die from this disease.<br />
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I felt myself hit the accelerator as my blood pressure began to accelerate itself. I was angry, this was not fair. I had already lost Dad, now my Mom too.<br />
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"Can we go to Paradise?"<br />
"What?"<br />
"Can we go to Paradise please? I want that chicken salad sandwich on the brown bread."<br />
"Oh, sure Mom. Do you know what you want to drink?"<br />
"I'll get the lemonade because its sweet."<br />
"Just like you."<br />
Giggles.<br />
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To Mom, life had just gone by without a care in the world. She didn't realize, or maybe comprehend that everything was going to change, every day, sometimes bigger changes, sometimes smaller changes, but life as we knew it wasn't going to be the same.<br />
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Life as <i>we</i> knew it. Ah-haaa... for Mom, life wasn't going to change. She was going to get up and go about life carefree, whether we took the car away or not, whether someone was living with her or not, whether she was to get a chicken salad sandwich on brown bread or not. It hit me that she isn't the one who will suffer, it is us, her family, that has to watch her memory fade, her confusion to find her words, her sadness when he have to remind her that Dad is no longer here on earth with us.<br />
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This disease may <i>infect</i> one, but it <i>affects</i> all those surrounding.<br />
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In case you did know... I hate you Alzheimer's.JenCoenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08586574916200155726noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6351327396987801256.post-90570471428289337152017-02-03T12:09:00.000-07:002017-02-03T12:09:24.017-07:00A Dog's Purpose<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhODR2r40EFygcZsmjKS_PXW6cKi2L2lLPyE2vbJcdEtfLuvn_6Me3pRofBBGpmmGoXL2POv8jWYdnHSsymBUxN1LYCmYiZPRCjCFzk6fMtF9P_afcliDNv37DWZz94zMzVaBCdyQCWTdQ/s1600/16426204_10154565147588863_6240366378902046685_n.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhODR2r40EFygcZsmjKS_PXW6cKi2L2lLPyE2vbJcdEtfLuvn_6Me3pRofBBGpmmGoXL2POv8jWYdnHSsymBUxN1LYCmYiZPRCjCFzk6fMtF9P_afcliDNv37DWZz94zMzVaBCdyQCWTdQ/s320/16426204_10154565147588863_6240366378902046685_n.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
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Growing up I was scared of dogs. Scared as in scream my head off running for the hills any time I even saw one within the vicinity of being able to reach me. My family tried as hard as they could, even getting my sister a little dog (I was almost moved out by then).<br />
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Once I got married, we tried again (my husband is a "dog person") and we got a weiner dude, whom I was afraid to be alone with (ankle biter) and ended up leaving our home.<br />
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When the kids were a little older (5 and 6) and we had just moved into our new home (the home we have raised our children in) Santa brought us our first real family dog, Gunner.<br />
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He was just a baby, and I immediately fell in love. My fears were completely gone, and I just felt in my heart that this was just the right puzzle piece to complete our little growing family.<br />
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He has been "Mama's Boy" for 11 an a half years. And today, we have to say goodbye.<br />
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To say I am beyond heartbroken would be an understatement. I am shattered, I am so blue. It is just so much harder than I ever imagined, saying goodbye to a dog.<br />
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He has been the protector of my children, making his midnight rounds from door to door.<br />
He has been my protector, sleeping under my side of the bed, at full attention if I wake.<br />
He has been my husbands best friend, rolling around on the carpet playing and wrestling.<br />
He loves to come out front and visit with the neighbors on the weekends.<br />
He loves to catch water we throw over the shower door.<br />
He gets SO EXCITED when I hang his stocking because he knows Santa will be filling it up soon.<br />
He can spell... he knows "Gonna Git The M-A-I-L" and "T-R-E-A-T".<br />
He loves swimming at Grandmas, and getting "A Piece of Ice" when Daddy makes his lunch in the morning.<br />
He lays under my legs when I'm sitting on the couch.<br />
He ALWAYS wants to play ball.<br />
When he hears my blow dryer come on, he rushes upstairs with his ball so I can kick it while I dry my hair.<br />
He lets the littles lay with him.<br />
He loves getting new toys from Bark Box or when we come home with grocery bags.<br />
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There are a million tiny things I will love and cherish, and <i>miss </i>about my 'ol man.<br />
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I am so eternally grateful that God brought this Dog into my life. He has been so much more than a pet. He's completed us, and that was always his purpose.<br />
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Rest In Sweet Peace, My Gunner Boy.<br />
JenCoenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08586574916200155726noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6351327396987801256.post-49692877206020536192017-01-01T11:36:00.000-07:002017-01-01T11:36:00.146-07:00OLW 2017<img alt="Happy Monday! Stay Humble. Work Hard. Be Kind. Inspirational Art by Pretty Chic SF: " src="https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/a0/9d/b1/a09db165ccef1a8a495c900f07544803.jpg" /><br />
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Hi lovies! I chose the word "Humble" this year. Definition includes "having or showing a modest or low estimate of one's own importance" and "offered with or affected by a modest estimate of one's own importance".<br />
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This word can be misunderstood quite easily, and I do not intend to live it as a negative influence (berating, demeaning, or lowly). I am choosing to utilize this OLW as living more simply, more modest, more respectful. Sort of a less talking, more listening approach (if that makes sense).<br />
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This word found me, in several ways recently, and I knew that it was to be my OLW for 2017.<br />
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I've chosen a OLW for several years now, and truth be told, I always have the best of intentions sticking with it throughout the year, but somewhere in the middle it diminishes and by the end of the year I come back to it just in time to choose another word. This year, I have chosen to be active in really living and working my OLW. This year, I have joined Ali Edwards OLW year-long class. I am mostly excited, and a bit nervous, but overall I am really looking to commit myself to this creative process.JenCoenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08586574916200155726noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6351327396987801256.post-51486994547127149792016-12-29T11:45:00.001-07:002016-12-29T11:45:39.604-07:002016 Recap<br />
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Well, 2016 was quite a year. I didn't blog much (obvi) but so many things did happen in my life. </div>
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<b>January </b>| I became an iPad owner. I moved to a different Crossfit Box (where my husband was). I had an MRI done on a spot found in my lung. I went to Laughlin with the Hubs to meet up with some Nebraska peeps. Cameron started driving practice.</div>
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<b>February </b>| I went to see my favorite musical, Carousel. I participated in the Crossfit Open and got my first and consecutive next nine Chest to Bar pullups. </div>
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<b>March </b>| I was the sickest I have ever been in my entire life. Basically bed ridden and unable to function for nearly two weeks. It was awful, especially because I missed our friends wedding (and I love weddings). Also went to the Nascar race, and celebrated 17 years of marriage with the Hubs. Probably the funnest thing of the year, we took the kids to Cancun. It was the most incredible family vacation. We are so incredibly blessed. </div>
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<b>April </b>| Courtney and I drove back home to Cali for our new nephew's baby shower. Then I met up with my BFF Steph in Laughlin for our annual girl trip. </div>
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<b>May </b>| The hubs was so incredibly good to me, taking me up to Sedona (one of my favorite places ever). The kids went to Prom (Cameron's first, Courtney's last). My sweet nephew was born so we went back to Cali for a visit. And we celebrated Cameron turning 16.</div>
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<b>June </b>| Work was busy, especially running the office by myself. Courtney and I went up to Flagstaff for a two day orientation at NAU. That was so exciting. We also celebrated our other nephew's first birthday. Perhaps the biggest news for June, Paul finally got new sunglasses for Fathers Day. Oakleys.</div>
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<b>July </b>| All the work, all the work, all the work. Also, was asked to be the leader of our Hospitality Team at church. Unfortunately we also had crisis team at our home to help us deal with, well, family crisis. Don't worry, everything is Ok.</div>
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<b>August </b>| Cameron got his license. Courtney dyed her hair, and moved away. She went off to college, and while we were thrilled, it took the rest of the year to adjust to living. Thankfully, the Hubs was brilliant at distracting me by taking me to Sedona. </div>
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<b>September </b>| Had a fabulous "Girls Day" with my Mama at the Omni Resort and Spa. I started bible journaling. We had family weekend in Flagstaff.</div>
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<b>October</b> | I spent many days at my Mom's cleaning out the office. We had a charity event for Dougie to beat cancer. Went to several Cardinal games. Went to a Halloween party as the couple from Beetlejuice when they try and scare away the new owners. We also celebrated Paul's Great-Aunt's 90th birthday!</div>
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<b>November</b> | Spent two whole days on a shopping spree with my Mama where I bought myself many new articles of clothing, and three new pairs of boots. (I never shop for myself). We held a Charity poker tournament for Doug. Went to the theatre with my Mom. Best of all, I spent an entire "Girl's Weekend" in San Francisco and Napa. It was pretty much the highlight of my year. On top of that... I was fortunate enough to see Adele in concert. We finished out the month with having Dana and our new nephew come visit for Thanksgiving, and took some beautiful family photos.</div>
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<b>December</b> | At the beginning of this crazy busy month, Mom and I went down to Tempe and had a delicious dinner on Mill Ave at La Bocca, then rode in a bike shuttle to ASU Gammage to see Mama Mia. About a week later, I was fortunate to attend the 2016 K-Love Christmas with my friend Amanda where I got to see my favorite Christian band, Crowder, perform. I drove up to NAU and brought Sissy home for the holidays! Spent an incredible night with my CFBF Jess where we dined at Southern Rail, then came home and watched Christmas movies while sipping on Peppermint White Russians. All the Christmas decorating, gift wrapping and parties happened. the hospitality group hosted a Hot Chocolate Bar (along with Coffee, Water, and Hot Apple Cider) for 3 Christmas Eve services at church. And then, Christmas came and went per usual, all too fast. </div>
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So many great celebrity losses this year, and many personal struggles for myself as a mother, a woman, and future business owner. Suffice to say, I am ready to pack up 2016 and start the New Year with a fresh breathe!!</div>
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JenCoenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08586574916200155726noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6351327396987801256.post-76020667730456679382016-11-09T10:03:00.001-07:002016-11-09T10:03:30.148-07:00shopping spree<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
As I hinted in previous posts, I've had a rough year (actually a rough almost two years). So many changes have occurred in my life, and <i>I do not do change very well. </i>I have struggled more than I'd like to admit to myself or anyone else. I've had good days and bad days, and then really terrible horrible days. But through it all, I've gotten up and faced the day and its challenges. I have worked hard, incredibly hard. That is something I am proud of; it's something that makes me feel like I'm making my Dad proud, I'm keeping my promises to him and staying on that grind. </div>
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Well, suffice to say that I've worked myself right into a bit of a run down. Stress and tears and heartbreak and pain and worry and all those negative feelings that I just don't do well with took over and it was like hitting a brick wall. I literally was on my knees praying for some help. </div>
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And then, this happened.</div>
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I was given two mandatory days off of work, and told to go shopping and spend some money on myself (something I very rarely do). I called my Mama, and to the shopping malls we went.</div>
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No alarm clocks, no schedule, no worries or stresses or heartache. Just pure Me time. Talk about prayers answered!! What a blessing! </div>
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I really struggled to post about this. I don't mean to come across gloating or righteous in any way. I want this to be an acknowledgement to those who don't understand or don't believe, Prayer works! I wholeheartedly believe that. Prayer for something simple, or something extraordinary and everything in between. God is absolutely listening. He knows each of our desires and our needs. It takes a faithful person to trust Him, and I do. </div>
JenCoenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08586574916200155726noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6351327396987801256.post-54277950221684921782016-10-17T11:01:00.000-07:002016-10-17T11:01:52.751-07:00Forgiveness<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
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I am a lover. I love people. I love to love people. I love so deeply, especially my family, and those friends who I consider family. Being such a deep lover unfortunately leaves you susceptible to deep hurt and deep pain. And that, my friends, is the wave I've been riding for some time now.</div>
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It's heartbreaking when someone you've given your life to causes you pain. It's almost unbearable. But when it becomes more than one person causing you such pain, for completely different reasons, it absolutely <u style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">is</u> unbearable. You wake up in a dark depression that makes you wonder what the point of getting up is. You question every decision you ever made in your relationship with these people; you even begin to question your own self-deciding abilities. Ie, if more than one person has caused me this pain, maybe I am the problem, not them. So guilt just smears an ugly layer on top of that depression sealing your ability to see any light in the day, let alone breathe. It's been dark my friends. It's been gut wrenching and soul searching bad. It's been a very long few months. </div>
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Per usual, I turned to my coping techniques, and I barricaded myself, until I became uncomfortable. And just like the other hellish holes of depression I've been in, I began to see light. I began to seek light. I knew that a change needed to happen. I needed to find the strength to change. So that is where I currently am. </div>
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I know that I can not change the past, I can not change the things that have happened to cause me this pain, nor can I control it. All I can do is wake up each day, make the best decisions I can, pray, and seek the light. </div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: helvetica, arial;"><i>So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. -Isaiah 41:10 </i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: helvetica, arial;"><i>Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. -John 14:27</i></span></div>
JenCoenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08586574916200155726noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6351327396987801256.post-87362730619638413622016-02-18T09:10:00.002-07:002016-02-18T09:10:47.397-07:00Currently : February<div class="separator" style="background-color: white; clear: both; color: #1a1a1a; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 26.6px; text-align: justify;">
<b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVNArPGI1VnM-6NJQfWWwzEJv1MknckcDo87wo0MzQW63Q7CeD_EKQ8Byxz3f9dxAkwdCNjju1y-IWYE34ZKkf3B36UrjI9wbhyKNdqHAxe8T9X6_9msXKCxnmymw9Wmf5rsk-GyKneAQ/s1600/Image.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVNArPGI1VnM-6NJQfWWwzEJv1MknckcDo87wo0MzQW63Q7CeD_EKQ8Byxz3f9dxAkwdCNjju1y-IWYE34ZKkf3B36UrjI9wbhyKNdqHAxe8T9X6_9msXKCxnmymw9Wmf5rsk-GyKneAQ/s320/Image.jpg" width="320" /></a></b></div>
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<b>Eating:</b> So, I started a new meal plan with my new gym. After being 100% Paleo 80% of the time... for the past 3 years, I am now eating.... drumroll... carbs!! As in Brown and White Rice and even better, Steep Cut Oats. Yassss!! I'm not mad at it. I'm learning more about my body, and the importance of macros. It's just so wonderful. And another huge plus is I get to eat Chipotle every 4 days!!!! eeeek! </div>
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<b>Enjoying: </b>Naps, Quietness in my office, my Gym time, Glides with my frands, Driving into work with a stunning AZ sunrise, and the general AZ weather in February (you can't be mad at it). </div>
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<b>Excited for:</b> PRs!! Deadlifted 250 this month... that is a 25# Personal Record from 2013 (my previous heaviest lift), Cornhole tournaments, Weddings, and The Crossfit Opens!!</div>
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<b>Learning: </b>All about Macros, and about getting into college (so many steps, ugh), and about depression and how to help those with it.</div>
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<b>Loving: </b>The hype and the inspiration that comes along with the upcoming Crossfit Open, Sunday mornings at church (Cody Deevers has been killin' the sermon game), and the weather. (Did I already say that, lol). </div>
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<b>Reading: </b>The same as last month (I'm a slow reader)... <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000FC2L1Y/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?ie=UTF8&btkr=1" style="color: #c2bfc5; text-decoration: none;">Drums of Autumn (Outlander Series Book 4)</a>, and my daily devotional <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003IYI7I2/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?ie=UTF8&btkr=1" style="color: #c2bfc5; text-decoration: none;">Jesus Calling</a>. I recommend both. Also hoping to pick up a few Crossfit Magazines before vacation.</div>
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<b>Thinking:</b> About vacation, gotta get my base tan on. Also thinking about ways to spend more quality time with my babes, teenagers aren't really into Mom time, but I so desperately need it. </div>
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<b>Watching:</b> Still catching up on Game of Thrones, and up to date on Downton Abbey, the Final Season (tear), but also became ridiculously addicted on Netflix to The Great British Baking Show... seriously, I want to watch it all over again. Paul Hollywood is my old bossman, Sig's doppleganger, like legit!</div>
JenCoenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08586574916200155726noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6351327396987801256.post-60826162601297985642016-01-15T12:00:00.000-07:002016-01-15T12:00:24.588-07:00Currently: January<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG-n9_HIM_mQITZ5ottRcNWP3_nF9NO6QmE77MsXP4gQfPF_jG-8309s9v90xd_pRxCnZoaGF_y3iHTuLJr3aWthsM623EFzvlEvZ5z8EOSOyfSIMFwKtSjfi_f7jwdPaE6g-uMZB2sao/s640/blogger-image-238807799.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG-n9_HIM_mQITZ5ottRcNWP3_nF9NO6QmE77MsXP4gQfPF_jG-8309s9v90xd_pRxCnZoaGF_y3iHTuLJr3aWthsM623EFzvlEvZ5z8EOSOyfSIMFwKtSjfi_f7jwdPaE6g-uMZB2sao/s640/blogger-image-238807799.jpg" /></a></div>
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<b>Eating:</b> I'm completely smitten with Ezekiel Cinnamon toast with crunchy peanut butter for breakfast. With the chilling weather we've been having, I made a huge batch of <a href="http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ellie-krieger/white-chili-recipe.html">White Chili</a> (a wintertime staple around my house) and tried a new recipe with the produce I got from <a href="http://www.furyfarm.org/">Fury Farm</a>, some delicious <a href="http://paleoleap.com/leek-and-sweet-potato-soup/">Leek and Sweet Potato Soup</a>. </div>
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<b>Enjoying: </b>Hot tea in the evenings, working daily on my mobility (something I've decided to dedicate my time to), snuggling and smooching my chunky baby nephew, and listening to Adele's trilogy of albums... I adore her!</div>
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<b>Excited for:</b> An unexpected turnaround trip to Laughlin to surprise a friend, more day trips to Flagstaff, to get our bearings before Courtney starts at NAU, and <a href="http://www.rushclubnation.com/">Rush Club 007</a> to cheer on my friend, Kennedy.</div>
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<b>Learning: </b>More about holistic approaches to health. I'm always learning to trust God in all things (not so easy, for someone who likes control), and I'm also learning new skills and techniques in the gym.</div>
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<b>Loving: </b>My new crossfit gym and making new friends. Also loving my Arizona Cardinals... big game this weekend. And how could I forget, I am loving the new bench my mom bought me for Chirstmas... it sits at the base of my bed and makes it so much easier to put on my shoes and socks (it's the little things in life). </div>
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<b>Reading: </b><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000FC2L1Y/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?ie=UTF8&btkr=1">Drums of Autumn (Outlander Series Book 4)</a>, and my daily devotional <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003IYI7I2/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?ie=UTF8&btkr=1">Jesus Calling</a>. I recommend both.</div>
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<b>Thinking:</b> About vacation. So much to do before we all leave, this is a big one for all four of us and there is so much preparation. Clothes, money, passports, planning excursions, confirming flights and rooms, etc all for one week of hopeful perfection. Fingers crossed, it will be a vacation to remember.</div>
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<b>Watching:</b> Even though we recently got DirecTv, I'm still not glued to my tv. I prefer Netflix and HBO Go, lol. Currently watching Season 7 of Parks and Recreation, and catching up on Game of Thrones with the Hubs (what an exciting show). </div>
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JenCoenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08586574916200155726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6351327396987801256.post-70408335757625571302016-01-01T10:00:00.000-07:002016-01-01T10:00:17.859-07:00One Little Word : 2016Can you believe it's here already... 2016... the New Year!!<br />
And you know what that means...<br />
Time to pick this year's <a href="http://aliedwards.com/one-little-word">One Little Word</a>.<br />
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In the past I've chosen words that reflect my intentions for my family, and my position as a mother. Protect, Awareness, Keep, Positivity. This year rings true to much of the same. It might surprise you, it might not. My OLW for 2016 is...<br />
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<i><span style="font-size: x-large;">Pray</span></i><br />
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While this very much could have been the last 6 months of 2015, I've decided to make it my focus for 2016.<br />
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Why?<br />
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With all that is happening in the world, the death and destruction, the anger and hate, it is a scary time to live.<br />
I'm just one person...with a worldly problem, what can I do to help?<br />
<i>I can pray.</i><br />
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There are so many friends and family members currently being affected by tragic events such as cancer, murder, and suicide. <br />
I'm just one person... with such tragedy, what can I do to help?<br />
<i>I can pray.</i><br />
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Within my immediate family, we have been through troubling and trying times. Times that will test our hearts, letting go of old and swallowing new.<br />
I'm just one person...with more times tested on the horizon, what can I do to help?<br />
<i>I can pray.</i><br />
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In this last year I have been down on my knees talking to God more times that I ever had before. I foresee that will increase as I hope 2016 will find answers and acceptance for so many who surround my world.<br />
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My prayer for you... is that you find all the things you so richly deserve in 2016. I pray that you find peace, and love. This might sound general and hallmark'y (yes, I made that up... Jen-ism) but I truly mean it. I want those I love to be deeply grateful for this beautiful life and ultimately happy with the gifts we are given daily. Simple gifts life the sun shining, being able to talk to our parents or siblings, loving our children, food in our bellies.<br />
<br />JenCoenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08586574916200155726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6351327396987801256.post-87822439822863413942015-12-31T12:48:00.000-07:002015-12-31T12:48:04.200-07:00I Did It<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvxJ6ZNabTlml3qHpef6Pcb2uz9Sg1dcz4RG4Bwax98ZKhXJ-PbGGxaGQqYmaWBe-mlPXArjG0IMQOaZB9T1InffQjqZC44LnH6ZcxwDnUENK030sWJZesGdYmCgwXl2JuUSLLgfuAIPY/s1600/bible-in-a-year.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="201" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvxJ6ZNabTlml3qHpef6Pcb2uz9Sg1dcz4RG4Bwax98ZKhXJ-PbGGxaGQqYmaWBe-mlPXArjG0IMQOaZB9T1InffQjqZC44LnH6ZcxwDnUENK030sWJZesGdYmCgwXl2JuUSLLgfuAIPY/s320/bible-in-a-year.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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I did it!! </div>
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I read the entire Bible in a Year! </div>
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This has been a goal of mine for well over 10 years. Finally, I have done it and I'm proud of myself for doing it, and I'm a better person for it. I'm just so stoked I did it!! </div>
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(With the help of <a href="http://shereadstruth.com/">She Reads Truth</a>)</div>
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JenCoenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08586574916200155726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6351327396987801256.post-7828581209850104152015-12-04T13:00:00.000-07:002015-12-04T13:00:25.088-07:00happy friday indeedOh my goodness! <div>
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You'll never believe what happened to me! </div>
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I won a contest! </div>
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A Mad Men contest!<div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXWQolgZ_mxY0SFou454h0EOMYoU2h8T_KlTZG2kn522yLWEbC0Ppo55vdgLzdfoVaLkI91UJxP_vI_vXYjfLGvz-xfmm_BDdvYH5qY2aaQvw7OYZt8L4ni1ekW04-wFm-bDnXhLQHyDE/s1600/mad+men.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="290" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXWQolgZ_mxY0SFou454h0EOMYoU2h8T_KlTZG2kn522yLWEbC0Ppo55vdgLzdfoVaLkI91UJxP_vI_vXYjfLGvz-xfmm_BDdvYH5qY2aaQvw7OYZt8L4ni1ekW04-wFm-bDnXhLQHyDE/s400/mad+men.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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For those of you who know me and know me well, can understand my elation!!</div>
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The requirement was to submit my favorite Mad Men moment. <u>So difficult</u> to choose from, especially because I loved the relationship between Don and Rachel Menken, but I went with my favorite scene in Season 5 Episode 10, "Christmas Waltz" where Don and Joan have this really special moment. For whatever reason, it just solidified both characters; where they were and where they had both been in life. In the end, no matter what, you'll always have each other, and you'll both be okay. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSCD2iv_QibeCR4sVfso-RKEnvP6exEJu91ih9ky164Vy4euJNSuCtZTJR6WTyV3mJ184LdSXc4aXpTPq2o0B4kdMm4id8VaehefUthwGtP1b8jdtEaD_M7_e5wkXpI0GSJREu_M6F5VU/s1600/Christmas+Waltz+2.JPG" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSCD2iv_QibeCR4sVfso-RKEnvP6exEJu91ih9ky164Vy4euJNSuCtZTJR6WTyV3mJ184LdSXc4aXpTPq2o0B4kdMm4id8VaehefUthwGtP1b8jdtEaD_M7_e5wkXpI0GSJREu_M6F5VU/s400/Christmas+Waltz+2.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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Oh happy day!! Hope you are having a wonderful Friday too!</div>
JenCoenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08586574916200155726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6351327396987801256.post-84960687341813088572015-11-30T13:50:00.000-07:002015-11-30T13:50:01.654-07:00life in moviesI've been spending on awful lot of time doing my personal version of "Netflix and Chill" lol. Thought I'd share the (long) list of movies that have been occupying my life. After all... Sharing <i>is </i>Caring.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUdhiBuDU7fs2obvAXdpb6mk6hPRlvTpyadzL076PsgrA4Aej9mQdVHnc-TXc-RZJmzNG3Q4EaQ6RYwjNveujP5p53JXuzc8tAaSEv9VMDNBMuf0BSbxXGoYUzNcOCjBDMimkT0zsWYcI/s1600/1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUdhiBuDU7fs2obvAXdpb6mk6hPRlvTpyadzL076PsgrA4Aej9mQdVHnc-TXc-RZJmzNG3Q4EaQ6RYwjNveujP5p53JXuzc8tAaSEv9VMDNBMuf0BSbxXGoYUzNcOCjBDMimkT0zsWYcI/s320/1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmVBToyTSvtIWOK2CwHt9l78rhO0bLlTYe1ti_53pm_1vt2ttwQOE7VAbtrRQhuIszv1v3ADGc3km-djt-8-TXyzzT6xzKBlwI3v0JitaPuonIVJK68L1FqTvWUS5Mf3g2it2a1Q6qiIQ/s1600/2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmVBToyTSvtIWOK2CwHt9l78rhO0bLlTYe1ti_53pm_1vt2ttwQOE7VAbtrRQhuIszv1v3ADGc3km-djt-8-TXyzzT6xzKBlwI3v0JitaPuonIVJK68L1FqTvWUS5Mf3g2it2a1Q6qiIQ/s320/2.jpg" width="217" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxTjVXqYJ7k5RtU5OqYC30Dr8Obt3BxzNZyaYG5fQmVxavR7thxWxz1slgBUyb8iUVnUPUvdhVKSKXVqHYDuP2uoxetjO7Lx19b30hAOqwhOcNCA4g7XmSe7gHM6_ZMjY-l0oq7716vU4/s1600/3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxTjVXqYJ7k5RtU5OqYC30Dr8Obt3BxzNZyaYG5fQmVxavR7thxWxz1slgBUyb8iUVnUPUvdhVKSKXVqHYDuP2uoxetjO7Lx19b30hAOqwhOcNCA4g7XmSe7gHM6_ZMjY-l0oq7716vU4/s320/3.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipUSrTLNp1NLoM_4ba7T1a-hT-4Qz8WvUWi0iiYXf6_-UeFndETO66yWyjrmh8L181-5devP6AZqJD0UIfP1Rpo7OkvAsa6N3kz8ZQ209R1lSL4oXWcrSb0QBSypRLc-OZlSy7YNtEMMY/s1600/4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipUSrTLNp1NLoM_4ba7T1a-hT-4Qz8WvUWi0iiYXf6_-UeFndETO66yWyjrmh8L181-5devP6AZqJD0UIfP1Rpo7OkvAsa6N3kz8ZQ209R1lSL4oXWcrSb0QBSypRLc-OZlSy7YNtEMMY/s320/4.jpg" width="229" /></a></div>
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<br />JenCoenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08586574916200155726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6351327396987801256.post-3008303538834916272015-11-25T14:00:00.000-07:002015-11-25T14:00:01.951-07:00thankful.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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On the eve of Thanksgiving, I thought I'd share a recent entry from my personal journal. <div>
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<i>October 30, 2015</i></div>
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<i>We leave in the morning for vacation. I can't explain how badly I need this. Stress has become my only emotion the latter part of this year, this week has topped it off, thanks to the ass chewing from not one, but two customers this week. As usual, I am nervous to fly, but have made no attempts to pickle myself in order to gain the liquid courage I've always needed. I'm too exhausted. Body is tired, mind is tired, soul too. In desperate need of rejuvenation. Vacation couldn't have come at a better time. As always, God's timing. </i></div>
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<i>Sitting here thinking about the reality that this time tomorrow I will be in another country has me feeling deeply and incredibly grateful. I know that there are so many people who work just as hard, if not harder than me and don't get the opportunity to travel, or even to get away... people I know and love. It puts things into perspective. I have so much to be thankful for. </i></div>
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<i>In today's world and in my own little world, there are so many things happening to people, changing their lives, death, destruction, sickness, poverty. I am just so thankful for everything that I have been blessed with. For my family, people who love me unconditionally even at my worst. I have wonderful beautiful friends who choose to love me, and undoubtedly complete my life. I have a lovely home with hot water and electricity, and a vehicle to drive. I have food in my refrigerator (not much, currently... but so much more than so many). I have a career that I truly love, despite the stress and long hours. I have my health and the ability to be active... something I have taken for granted before, but now have a deep appreciation for it. And of course, my Faith. I would have nothing without that. So grateful indeed. Wow. </i></div>
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When I wrote this I remember feeling as if my heart was so full it would explode at any moment. That is such an incredible feeling to have and I wish it for everyone, especially my loved ones. I still feel that gratitude in my heart, and I try daily to keep it with me, thanking God for all the blessings he has given me, when there are people dying of disease and famine, people with no shelter, no warm clothes in the cold weather, people in abusive homes, people with dark demons and addictions. </div>
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Struggling daily watching my aunt battle cancer has changed my world, not that my world didn't change when my dad had cancer, but this is different. I spend my every day with her, she is apart of my life more than many. Every day is a gift, every good day is a miracle, every smile is a treasure. </div>
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Yes, I have so much to be grateful for, so many blessings. Even <i>you</i>.</div>
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I wish you a Happy Thanksgiving, and may you count all of your blessings as well. </div>
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JenCoenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08586574916200155726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6351327396987801256.post-5363017258332969462015-09-15T09:12:00.000-07:002015-09-16T09:12:56.572-07:00five years<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I can't believe five years has passed since he passed. And then again, so much has changed in those five years. I feel like it was just last week I got that hysterical call from my mom. Saw my dad be wheeled out to the ambulance, not needing the confirmation of what I already knew. He was gone. </div>
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The physical absence of someone important in your life is unbearable. </div>
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I have my good days, and my days. Even now, years later. Reluctantly I can say it has gotten easier in the fact that I've been able to better manage the feelings associated with loss. Some days I completely lose it, and I let myself. I'm not perfect. Most days, actually all days, I think about him and about some happy memory I had with him. And then I become so filled with gratefulness that I was afforded that memory. So many are not. </div>
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I strive to make him proud, although I know that he was proud of me already. I talk to him often, wishing to hear his voice just one more time tell me he loves me. I miss his hugs. He was the best hugger in the world, always making me feel safe. Thankfully I can still remember his hugs.</div>
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On this anniversary of his passing, I'm gonna have a good cry, and remember the good times, and just miss him. I take so much peace in knowing that I will see him again someday, by God's Grace. </div>
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Dad, I will be okay. I will continue to strive to become the woman you influenced me to be. I will continue to work hard, to love hard, and to live with passion. Thank you for all that you gave me. Until I see you again, Love you always. </div>
<br />JenCoenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08586574916200155726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6351327396987801256.post-25604395867144959992015-08-14T18:49:00.000-07:002015-08-20T12:39:57.748-07:00...more of the big C... <br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Meet my Aunt Kelly.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Well, she's not my aunt by blood. She is the hubs aunt (by blood) but more than family, she is my boss, and she is my best friend.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Over the last 16+ years I have spent nearly all my days and countless hours with this lady. She is the ying to my yang, the salt to my pepper, the beavis to my butthead.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Kelly has been diagnosed with Stage 4 Signet Cell Cancer.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Quite literally, this happened in a matter of weeks. She went into her primary as a once-over before starting a monitored diet. What started off as a small sharp pain in her lower abdomen has (after every blood test, scan, and outpatient medical procedure necessary) come back as Cancer.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Stupid, ugly, life-altering Cancer. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">It has been a whirlwind of emotions for everyone involved. For me personally, I vacillate from pure anger to complete positivity to absolute terror. And of course, there is the hashing up from <a href="http://jencoen.blogspot.com/2010/04/big-c.html">Dad's fight with Cancer</a>. </span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">It is truly so much to deal with, and so much to take in and process out, my feelings, my emotions, even my physical reactions... it's all so crazy. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I think I might turn back to blogging. Mainly because it's just easier for me to write out my feelings, especially in difficult and trying times. Wonder why that is... I tend to catalog the good things and positive things in my life through photographs (like the one above... that was just a fun Friday night dinner with Jeff and Kelly), but the negative feelings I turn towards words and writings. Interesting...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Well, not sure anyone is still here reading (hi Mom, I know you're always there, lol). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><i><span style="color: #674ea7;">Stay tuned</span></i></span></div>
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<br />JenCoenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08586574916200155726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6351327396987801256.post-10414455847853589462014-12-31T14:00:00.000-07:002016-12-20T13:46:57.420-07:00One Little Word : 2015I fully acknowledge that I have become a "sometimes blogger". Sometimes I'm all about it, sometimes not so much. Typically I blog to vent, or release what's going on in my personal life. The really great thing is that it is <u style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">my</u> blog and you are not forced to read it.<br />
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With all that being said, I choose to participate in <a href="https://aliedwards.com/projects/one-little-word">Ali Edward's One Little Word</a> project annually, mostly because I have been partaking in this "tradition" since it's inception. Whether I've blogged about it, or journaled about it at home, it has become something that I like to give some attention to. </div>
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And so, my OLW 2015 is... (drumroll please)...</div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Awareness</span></i></div>
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This word has come up in multiple current aspects of my life. I feel that it is going to be abundantly used, it <i>needs </i>to be abundantly used. </div>
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It is confounding how we as people, as human beings, can go through life almost completely unaware. Daily life, schedules, appointments, agendas, routine, it all becomes repetitive, monotonous, mundane. We become so disconnected to ourselves and the people around us. We are too tired or too busy or sometimes simply forget to invest our time and attention to each other and into the things we love. We don't do this intentionally, we just become too unconscious. </div>
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For me, personally, I need to bring back the awareness of my every moment. I need to become better aware of my actions towards other people, more aware of the decisions I make, more aware of the way I treat and view myself (this one is super tough for me). I truly believe that if I can keep awareness, nothing but positive and beautiful things will follow. </div>
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Cheers to a happy and healthy 2015!! xoxo</div>
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JenCoenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08586574916200155726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6351327396987801256.post-55213249578228689762014-08-21T13:20:00.001-07:002014-08-22T06:31:34.073-07:00thirty years plus four<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
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I've made it. </div>
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I have officially lived longer than Jesus. <span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>(For those who know me well, know that this is actually a big deal for me). </i></span></div>
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Thirty-Three was good to me. </div>
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- I participated in a tribute to <a href="http://jencoen.blogspot.com/2013/08/to-honor-fallen.html">honor the fallen</a></div>
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- I became mother of two high school students</div>
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- I got my first (and second) tattoos</div>
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- I got in my first car accident (Don't worry, I am ok. Wasn't my fault.)</div>
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- I resigned from my second job, after 7 wonderful years. </div>
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- I helped originate, and start up a <a href="http://royalcourtboosterclub.webs.com/">Booster Club</a></div>
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- I became Treasurer for said <a href="http://royalcourtboosterclub.webs.com/">Booster Club</a></div>
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I'm sure there were a million other tiny life lesssons and achievements, none of which I can think of at this moment (old age must be setting in, lol). </div>
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Looking forward, I'd like to say that I can consistently blog here, but that's wishful thinking. I'm too busy with life, and living it. Giving everything I have to the commitments I've made in my life. Faith, Family, Friendship, Work (haha). </div>
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I will say this. In the next year of my life I hope to achieve more wisdom. I hope to give to myself more. I hope to continue to grow in faith and in love. </div>
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JenCoenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08586574916200155726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6351327396987801256.post-6110468988074885912014-07-10T12:13:00.001-07:002014-07-10T12:13:22.165-07:00still time to change the road you're on<img alt="The Mountains are Calling Print" src="http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/d3/d9/41/d3d941eb8afed44d9e59d48ecc0b3068.jpg" /><br />
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Oh change, how you scare me so.<br />
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There are so many things happening in my life right now. Even before they began, I could feel it coming, like the first soft blow of air before the gusts of wind turn into the tornado they were always meant to be.<br />
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I dislike change, mainly because the unknown makes me uneasy. Actually (truth be told) the unknown terrifies me, keeping me contained to the bubble I live in. It's a cozy bubble.<br />
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However, change is indeed, inevitable. We grow, we try, we succeed, we fail, we learn.<br />
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We make choices.<br />
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I like to think that almost always we base our decisions on what is best for ourselves at that particular time in our life. When you are a parent, the decision-making extends to what is best for our children, our family, as well as our self. I honor and respect these decisions, because I know they are not easy.<br />
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When the dust settles, I know that I will be okay. I will know that the decisions I make are the right ones for Me, right now, and that my decisions will benefit my children, and my family.<br />
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While my heart is painfully sad and aching at the expense of change, I will carry my memories close as I enter a new path on my journey.<br />
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It is scary, letting go of the way things were. Leaving the comfort of schedule and repetition and the known, the expected. I am apprehensive to make any move, forward or otherwise. I do, however, know that we can not move backwards, no matter how hard we try.<br />
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Surprisingly (and thankfully) I am optimistic. My heart lives in a place that says <i>in this lifetime, anything is possible</i>. I breathe this, in and out every day.<br />
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I don't know exactly what lies ahead. I do know that I will find out.<br />
Where I go from here is up to God.JenCoenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08586574916200155726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6351327396987801256.post-524185533527385152013-12-30T14:07:00.000-07:002016-12-20T13:47:40.123-07:00One Little Word : 2014It's about that time again.... <a href="http://aliedwards.com/blog/one-little-word">Ali Edward's One Little Word</a>. This year, I've chosen a word that has been in my heart for the past month. My One Little Word is...<br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;"><i>Protect</i></span><br />
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I feel as though my life and my livelihood has been being attacked, mentally and spiritually, physically and emotionally. I have come to recognize that sometimes I put myself and my family and my beliefs in open waters for others to violate. I need to be aggressive in taking back the responsibilities of my life and my livelihood.<br />
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My family, my children... they are my everything and I will protect them with all that I have.<br />
My heart ...has been broken more times than I care to share. I will protect it, but will remain open to love.<br />
My relationships... those need to be protected. Far too often I take them for granted, and I need to secure them with love and kindness and generosity.<br />
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My hopes are that this year be prosperous for my family. We've been through so much turmoil over the past few years, I pray that beauty shine through the ugly and all that is positive prevail.JenCoenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08586574916200155726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6351327396987801256.post-59621797709782087382013-12-10T15:17:00.001-07:002013-12-10T15:17:32.176-07:00ten things . end of 2013 edition<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">The holidays are always my favorite time of year. Joyful truly does describe it. There are so many things that I love about the holidays that I thought for today's 10 Things on the 10th I'd list my absolute favorites!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">1. Christmas Tree Decorating. I may or may not be a semi-professional amateur Christmas Tree decorator. I absolutely love it. The different themes, colors, textures. So many ideas. So many beautiful things.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">2. White Christmas. As in the the 1954 movie with Bing Crosby, Rosemary Clooney, Danny Kaye, and Vera-Ellen. It just isn't Christmas without watching this movie at least five times! I'm not joking. I watch it alot!! lol</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">3. Snuggle Weather. When the temperatures drop to the point that it's biting and bone chilling, those are the best times to sit in front of a fire, cuddle up with the babes, or even better, snuggle up with your favorite person and a cozy warm blanket.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">4. Leggings, Scarves, Beanies and Fuzzy Boots. Yeah, pretty much the uniform of the season. With the cold temperatures (even for Arizona) this is the most effortless and most fashion savvy outfit that I wear. That most people wear this time of year. Better to have too many layers than not enough, right! And can I just note, I am in love Love LOVE with furry fuzzy boots. I bought myself my very first pair, and I swear they rarely leave my feet. I would sleep in them if I could. lol</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">5. The Gift of Giving. I love Love LOVE giving gifts. Far better than receiving them. I like to hunt for that perfect gift, get it wrapped up and watch and the recipient opens up their hand-picked gift. The light and joy that fills their face truly warms my heart.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">6. Speaking of Gifts... the Ultimate Gift. How can I talk about my favorite time of year without mentioning the Reason for the Season! Our God loves us SOO Much that he sent his only son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for my sins. I can't even begin to describe that kind of love. I love reading the story of Christ's birth. I love seeing the Nativity sets all about. I love when the babes get excited about Jesus' birth. It's his party but we get the presents. lol</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">7. Speaking of Presents... Gift Wrap and Ribbons and Bows. Of course, I love to wrap gifts in coordinating colors and pretty ribbons and bows. I love embellishing and personalizing gifts. Making them too pretty to open ... nah, who am I kidding. lol.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">8. What is Christmas without the Music. I'm one of those people who could listen to Christmas music all year long. Truly. It lifts my spirits, and I can never get enough of hearing Frank Sinatra, or The Carpenters, or Burl Ives. Don't ask me to pick a favorite because I just can't. There are too many songs that I love for different reasons, and they are all so very special to me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">9. Christmas Cookie Monster. Tis true, at Christmas time I become a serious cookie monster. I try and make all the same cookies I've been making my entire life; Peanut Butter Blossoms, M&M Cookies, Mexican Wedding Cakes, Candy Cane Cookies, Sugar Cookies, Magic Bars, Snickerdoodles. While most years I don't have the time to make every cookie, I have added others to my favorites list, like French Macaroons, and Chocolate Mice.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">10. Christmas Morning. The most specialist time of the year. We wake up with our own little families, and see what Santa has left for the kids. We go through our stockings that Santa overflows every year. The dog goes absolutely bonkers when his stocking is filled. He knows his buddy, Santa has been to the house (Santa brought Gunner to us 8 Christmases ago). We open up the gifts we've given each other. Then we head over to Mom and Dads (even though Dad is gone, I still call it Mom and Dads, especially at Christmas time, because I know he is there with us). We do as we have done my entire life, and watch the kids open up their gifts left from Santa, go through stockings, and then take turns opening our gifts from each other. Pure joy! I can't wait for the morning of December 25, 2013!!</span></div>
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JenCoenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08586574916200155726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6351327396987801256.post-37735262100366238802013-08-30T11:07:00.001-07:002013-08-30T11:07:56.730-07:00to honor the fallen<img height="300" src="http://media2.abc15.com//photo/2013/07/02/KNXV_Granite_Mountain_HotShots_20130702154139_320_240.JPG" width="400" /><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><i><span style="color: #330000; font-family: georgia, 'bookman old style', 'palatino linotype', 'book antiqua', palatino, 'trebuchet ms', helvetica, garamond, sans-serif, arial, verdana, 'avante garde', 'century gothic', 'comic sans ms', times, 'times new roman', serif;">When a man becomes a fireman his greatest act of bravery has been accomplished. What he does after that is all in the line of work. ~Edward F. Croker</span></i></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #e5e5dd; color: #330000; font-family: georgia, 'bookman old style', 'palatino linotype', 'book antiqua', palatino, 'trebuchet ms', helvetica, garamond, sans-serif, arial, verdana, 'avante garde', 'century gothic', 'comic sans ms', times, 'times new roman', serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: #e5e5dd; color: #330000; font-family: georgia, 'bookman old style', 'palatino linotype', 'book antiqua', palatino, 'trebuchet ms', helvetica, garamond, sans-serif, arial, verdana, 'avante garde', 'century gothic', 'comic sans ms', times, 'times new roman', serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #330000; font-family: georgia, bookman old style, palatino linotype, book antiqua, palatino, trebuchet ms, helvetica, garamond, sans-serif, arial, verdana, avante garde, century gothic, comic sans ms, times, times new roman, serif;">Tomorrow, the hubs and I, along with many of our fellow Crossfitters will be heading up to Prescott, AZ for an event at <a href="http://www.captaincrossfit.com/">Captain Crossfit</a> to honor the 19 fallen heroes. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #330000; font-family: georgia, bookman old style, palatino linotype, book antiqua, palatino, trebuchet ms, helvetica, garamond, sans-serif, arial, verdana, avante garde, century gothic, comic sans ms, times, times new roman, serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/LKBVr33tHM0" width="560"></iframe></span><br />
<span style="color: #330000; font-family: georgia, bookman old style, palatino linotype, book antiqua, palatino, trebuchet ms, helvetica, garamond, sans-serif, arial, verdana, avante garde, century gothic, comic sans ms, times, times new roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #330000; font-family: georgia, bookman old style, palatino linotype, book antiqua, palatino, trebuchet ms, helvetica, garamond, sans-serif, arial, verdana, avante garde, century gothic, comic sans ms, times, times new roman, serif;">Crossfitters across the State of Arizona, across the Nation, and across the World will be participating in this same workout, on this same day. How cool is that. How moving is that. </span><br />
<span style="color: #330000; font-family: georgia, bookman old style, palatino linotype, book antiqua, palatino, trebuchet ms, helvetica, garamond, sans-serif, arial, verdana, avante garde, century gothic, comic sans ms, times, times new roman, serif;">This goes to show, that like the small town community of Prescott, the Crossfit community is just as tight knit, just as supportive, just as touched and affected by this tragedy as this small town. </span><br />
<span style="color: #330000; font-family: georgia, bookman old style, palatino linotype, book antiqua, palatino, trebuchet ms, helvetica, garamond, sans-serif, arial, verdana, avante garde, century gothic, comic sans ms, times, times new roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #330000; font-family: georgia, bookman old style, palatino linotype, book antiqua, palatino, trebuchet ms, helvetica, garamond, sans-serif, arial, verdana, avante garde, century gothic, comic sans ms, times, times new roman, serif;">I am mindful going into this event that the hard work I am preparing my self to accomplish is for these 19 men. This event is to celebrate their lives, honor their death, and support their families. </span><br />
<span style="color: #330000; font-family: georgia, bookman old style, palatino linotype, book antiqua, palatino, trebuchet ms, helvetica, garamond, sans-serif, arial, verdana, avante garde, century gothic, comic sans ms, times, times new roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #330000; font-family: georgia, bookman old style, palatino linotype, book antiqua, palatino, trebuchet ms, helvetica, garamond, sans-serif, arial, verdana, avante garde, century gothic, comic sans ms, times, times new roman, serif;">Please... if you can help in any way, please Donate <a href="http://hotshots19.crossfit.com/">HERE</a>. Even if it is just $5.00, every little bit helps. </span><br />
<span style="color: #330000; font-family: georgia, bookman old style, palatino linotype, book antiqua, palatino, trebuchet ms, helvetica, garamond, sans-serif, arial, verdana, avante garde, century gothic, comic sans ms, times, times new roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<img src="http://www.gannett-cdn.com/media/USATODAY/USATODAY/2013/07/02/1372792836001-AFP-521088062-1307021533_4_3_rx404_c534x401.jpg?87cc7ae5b5e3d133be9f113f907a13faa9f8741e" />JenCoenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08586574916200155726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6351327396987801256.post-6272800778828904212013-08-21T10:47:00.000-07:002013-08-21T10:47:25.590-07:0033<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj15Ds8R0ensWz8w7oG91Ft7d9Qt0Lzrq1-600DlUAaKvGQwuIFMkDzvtN_mf1w9Ic4ZT674rhaKehHcSnOCCQ1tFbk8dh4BwSBT-qPx6h7dtHk5SbhyO39IR_5nF-liEwsMJMbpUNM_aA/s1600/FxCam_1377103861556.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj15Ds8R0ensWz8w7oG91Ft7d9Qt0Lzrq1-600DlUAaKvGQwuIFMkDzvtN_mf1w9Ic4ZT674rhaKehHcSnOCCQ1tFbk8dh4BwSBT-qPx6h7dtHk5SbhyO39IR_5nF-liEwsMJMbpUNM_aA/s400/FxCam_1377103861556.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
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Today I turn 33.</div>
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This is what I look like.</div>
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33 doesn't sound like a milestone birthday to the general population, but to me it's kind of a big deal.</div>
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When I was little I remember always feeling this connection with Jesus because his initials and my initials were the same ... JC (sidenote, my initials are still the same). I remember reading one of the Bible stories about my buddy Jesus dying on the cross, and was shocked and a truthfully scared to find out that he was just 32 when he died. Being a young kid, the concept of death and dying scared me tremendously, and even at that age I thought that Jesus was too young to die (that would mean I was already a quarter of the way through my lifespan). I would pray and pray that I would one day turn 33. </div>
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The unsettling thought of dying young has been with me my whole life. As I grew older, I still housed those same fears and concerns about death. To be completely honest, it wasn't until my <a href="http://jencoen.blogspot.com/2010/09/september-15-2010-day-my-life-has.html">Dad passed</a> that I had started to open my thought process to accepting death and dying. When people started prophesying that the world would end in 2012, I began to put belief in my fears that I would not live to see my 33rd birthday. </div>
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Well... today I <b>celebrate </b>turning 33. Even with the wrinkles starting to show themselves. Even with the single gray hair that keeps trying to appear. Even with the same 10 pounds that stubbornly won't exit the ride. Even though I'm working. Even though I have no big plans for the evening. Even though today is just another day for most every one else in the world.</div>
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I have waited many years for this day. And I celebrate it in my heart, and in my mind. I am so grateful that I have been blessed with all the days of my life. I am grateful that I have been blessed with all the people in my life. I am grateful to be alive and breathing. And I intend to live the next 33 years with love and joy and peace.</div>
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<br />JenCoenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08586574916200155726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6351327396987801256.post-43896784907830443032013-03-12T09:28:00.000-07:002013-03-12T09:28:30.093-07:00no commentHi Y'all.<br />
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In case you haven't noticed... I've been absent. Blog absent.<br />
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Intentionally.<br />
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It's not you... it's me.<br />
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No, really. It is me.<br />
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I don't have love for blogging. Not right now.<br />
The things I have to write about are for me, and they belong in my personal journal. At home.<br />
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So, while I have decided to keep this blog up (more for personal reference than anything else) I have done away with the comment section.<br />
(You would not believe the amount of spam comments I just had to delete. Like, legit a thousand!)<br />
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If you wanna keep dibs on me then stalk me on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/jencoen">Facebook</a> like a normal friend. lol. You can peep me on <a href="https://twitter.com/JenCoen">Twitter</a> (which I hardly use) or <a href="http://instagram.com/jencoen">Instagram</a> (which I use more frequently than Twitter but not as frequently as Facebook).<br />
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Maybe I'll come back to blogging.<br />
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Maybe.<br />
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It will probably be all #crossfit #paleo #projectlife<br />
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Consider the hashtags your fair warning.<br />
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I still love you, my party people.<br />
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Don't cry.<br />
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<i>"I know that goodbye means nothing at all." -M5</i>JenCoenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08586574916200155726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6351327396987801256.post-16691475177636859862013-01-04T14:19:00.001-07:002016-12-20T13:48:08.930-07:00One Little Word : 2013Hello beautiful people! Happy New Year! And what a year it's been, hehe.<br />
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So... as I said <a href="http://jencoen.blogspot.com/2012/12/so-long-2012.html">before</a>... I am totally choosing a word for <a href="http://aliedwards.com/2012/12/one-little-word-2013.html">Ali Edward's One Little Word</a> ... and it is...<br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;"><i>Positivity</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I don't even think this is a <u>real</u> word (like dictionary word) so we're gonna go ahead and call it a Jen-ism. Seems fitting. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">The short-story on how I chose this word goes like this...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I kept seeing this word and using this word for, like, days and days in a row and I just really wanted something that means 2013 is going to be OUR year! </span><br />
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No more deaths. No more money problems. No more binges. No more excuses. No more weeks on end of sadness.<br />
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It's going to be a YEAR FULL OF POSITIVITY because we are going to wake up every morning and <i>choose</i> to be positive, to make someone's day by giving them a compliment, by talking someone off the ledge, by taking that flower arrangement class that you've always wanted to, by eating beautiful and healthy foods, by getting out and walking or running or hiking a mountain, by being grateful for every single breath of life that our glorious God has given to us!<br />
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<img alt="positive = positive" height="529" src="https://media-cache-lt0.pinterest.com/upload/298574650265356187_DX1aojzT_c.jpg" width="640" /><br />
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Right!! Now go out ... and infect others with POSITIVITY!<br />
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Love Yous!JenCoenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08586574916200155726noreply@blogger.com2