i skipped fathers day... on purpose...

being that this was my first father's day since my Dad passed, it was my intention to sit down and write him a letter. i had planned to fill it with lovely memories, things i miss, and words i would gladly say to him. i had planned to write that letter here, sharing it with those who read my blog and who have followed me on this new journey of trying to live a life without a Daddy.

i could tell you that i've just been too busy to write.
i could say that i wrote the letter and felt it too personal to share. 
but i would be lying.

to be honest, i didn't want to acknowledge fathers day. i don't have a Dad that I can pick up the phone and call or write a beautiful card, or buy a gift for. the reality that he isn't here, with us... really got the better of me on Friday. i spent the better part of the day with tears falling uncontrollably. just pure emotion and exhausting pain. it was a long day. i realized (quite quickly) that i am still grieving. i am still in shock, and still in alot of pain. when i wake every day, i try very hard to make it a positive day, a day to make my Dad proud. i try to be strong in mind, and strong in body. but not every day goes that way, and that is OK.

i did acknowledge those fathers around me... the hubs, my father-in-law, some close friends. that was really difficult to me, to get the words out... happy fathers day. 

i know next year will be different. maybe by then i'll be able to sit down and write that letter i had intended to write. something to look forward to, perhaps.

fill in the blank friday

1.   The last movie I saw was       Definitely, Maybe. It was on FX last night and I fell asleep watching it .

2.  I want to   go for a long, peaceful, scenic drive North .

3.  Surprises are     fun to give and fun to receive .

4.  The best accessory is   bling! lol. I'm definitely a bling sort of girl. hehe 

5.  My favorite warm drink is    the spiced pumpkin latte in Fall from Starbucks! Such a weakness! 

6.  My favorite cold drink is     water! Followed closely by an ice cold beer! Yes please!!

7.  Currently loving      the new Adele disc, greek yogurt with fresh strawberries, and My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding. 

wee bit wednesday

{one} what color best describes you + why?
Pink! Because it's girly!!

{two} how have you changed in the past year?
Wow. Um, well, my Daddy went to Heaven and that pretty much turned my entire world upside down. Big changes that are still taking place, but I'm definitely learning and taking things one by one, day by day.

{three} have you ever had any surgeries?

{four} why did you start your blog?
I started blogging as a creative outlet. I love to journal, and thought it'd be nice to journal somewhere that keeps record. 

{five} what are you looking forward to this summer?
Hmmm, getting a tan. Hanging out with family. 

{six} do you have any family traditions for the 4th of July?
We used to all get dressed red-white-blue and bbq and watch fireworks with friends and family. This year will be different.

{seven} what’s something new that you’ve tried in the past few months?
I'd say cycle class, or going back to yoga.

{eight} what is the perfect a/c temperature?
76 degrees

{nine} what was the last movie you saw in the theater?
Bridesmaids (hysterical)

{ten} what song do you think everyone should hear at least once?
Jill by Harry Connick Jr.

catching up with wbw & filbf

i know, i know... tsk tsk... i have been mia but i have a list of excuses! hehe
1. kids are gone for three weeks. this gives me more ME time... which essentially translates into more hours at work. which brings me to...
2. i'm in the air conditioning business... in Arizona... it's summer. Does this add up yet? Needless to say, we are super busy, hence the longer hours i'm here in my office.
3. i've pretty much avoided blogging my 'feelings' as it's been an 'emotional' week for me and i really don't want to be all 'crybaby' and 'debbie downer' here.
4. my dog ate my homework. lol. just kidding. 

and now, onto the tasks at hand...
{one} how many times have you been a bridesmaid/maid of honor?
I've been a flower girl once, a bridesmaid twice, and a maid of honor three times. For a grand total of 6 weddings. (I LOVE Weddings!)

{two} what’s the last thing your do before you fall asleep at night?
Say my prayers. Seriously. I say the 'Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep' prayer, followed by praying for people and the day.

{three} you just won your dream vacation, all expenses paid. where are you going?
England! For a month! (Miss my Matthew!)

{four} what is your favorite outdoor activity?
Hmmm, I'm not so much an 'outdoorsy' girl. But I grew up fishing with my dad, and I like to hike mountain trails. 

{five} as a child, what did you want to “be when you grew up”? did you end up there?
When I was 8 I wanted to be a Fashion Designer. Me and two of my girlfriends had a 'company' and we would draw clothes and exchange them. lol. I even designed my dream Christmas gown (think the ending of White Christmas). Oh yes I did (right Mom!). lol
Then when I was about 13 my Dad told me that I should be a Financial Advisor because they got to spend other peoples money (now I'm wondering in there was a pun involved there. haha)
About high school time, I decided I wanted to become an elementary school teacher because I wanted to 'influence and teach the children of our future'. 
Needless to say, none of this happened. God had other plans for me. And I'm totally okay with that.

{six} what are 3 things your dream home would have that you don’t currently have?
A gourmet kitchen, a formal living room with ornate fireplace, and a pool in a lush tropical backyard.

{seven} what’s for dinner tonight?
Most likely chicken or fish with vegetables.

{eight} if someone stopped by your house unannounced on a typical Saturday night, what would they find you doing?
ha! well, that depends on if i have plans. ususally, i'm watching a movie or reading in bed. i know... Big Saturday Night! Woot Woot!

{nine} what’s your average monthly water bill?
I think it's around $80-$100, but its the city bill, so that includes trash too.

{ten} what do you do to relax?
Yoga, Hot Bath, Glass of Red Wine, Read.

1.   This weekend I'm       doing laundry (in desperate need of some clean clothes and clean gym clothes) and probably cleaning the house. Hopefully I can get a little bit of journaling in  .

2.  My last vacation was    Las Vegas with my Mom this past January .

3.  My next vacation will be     a cruise to Mexico in November .

4.  My favorite way to relax is  a hot bath, a glass of red wine, and a good book with some classical (yes, I listen to classical) music low in the background !

5.  When vacationing one should always     leave the tv off and the cell phone on vibrate (for emergencies only) !

6.  When vacationing one should never      diet, or not apply sunscreen!

7.  The best part about a vacation is       being away from work and the stresses of daily life

I wish you all the best of relaxing weekends! Hopefully I'll have some journal pages to share with you some time this weekend! Loves you!

fill in the blank friday

1.   I love       my kids   because      they bring me so much joy and love!

2.  A time that mama knew best was   every time. for the most part. right Ma?

3.  My first kiss went a little like this     i was seven, he was my neighbor, it was behind our rv, and a peck. 

4.  My celebrity crush is   probably Adam Levine... I'd let him sing to me. haha.

5.  My splurge of choice is    CUTE SHOES!!!!!

6.  My biggest accomplishment is      my children! they're the best thing  i've ever done in my life!  

7.  My dance jam of choice is    oooh, hard one. I like 'up in da club' music! 

ABC's of Yum!

I read this over at Mrs. Buscuit's blog and thought I'd join in.... you know me, I can't resist a good Q&A! ;-)

A: is for Apple, what’s your favorite variety? Granny Smith followed by Honeycrisp!

B: is for Bread, regardless of nutrition, calories, or whole grains what is your favorite type to have a nice big piece of? Oh geez, I think I'd have to go with ye old Sourdough. 

C: is for Cereal what is your favorite kind currently (just one!) I haven't had cereal in soo long, but I'd have to say Special K and Frosted Mini Wheats are my fav.

D: is for Doughnuts, you might not currently be eating them but what kind do you fancy? Can you believe I went nearly ten years without eating doughnuts! I had a bad 'morning-sickness' experience with a maple bar and wasn't able to even smell them! Then I discovered Krispy Kreme and all was forgiven. My favorite doughnut from KK is the Chocolate Iced Creme Filled followed by the Chocolate Iced Custard Filled.

E: is for Eggs, how would you like yours prepared? Well, I strongly dislike eggs. I have tried them every way delicious, and I just can't seem to aquire a taste for them. However, I can eat them only with Soyrizo (i used to eat them with pork chorizo, but that stuff is sooo bad for you, and Soyrizo is such a wonderful replacement). 

F: is for Fat Free, what is your favorite fat free product? Can't really think of one. I guess it'd have to be cinnamon vanilla coffee creamer.

G: is for Groceries, where do you purchase yours at?  Costco and Fry's Marketplace  

H: is for Hot Beverages, what is your favorite hot drink? Chai Latte 

I: is for Ice Cream, pick a favorite flavor and add a fun topping. Cake Batter... all the way! Top it with some cookie dough pieces or slivered almonds and raspberries.

J: is for Jams or Jellies, do you eat them, and if so what kind and flavor? I love raspberry jam and jalepeno jelly.

K: is for Kashi, name your favorite Kashi product? I really like their snack bars.

L: is for Lunch, what was yours today? Leftover chicken explosion salad from Chili's!

M: is for microwave, what is your favorite microwave meal/snack? Popcorn!! It's really the only thing I put in the microwave anymore.

N: is for nutrients, do you likes carbs, fats, or proteins best? Proteins! I eat a ton of chicken, fish, and greek yogurt!

O: is for oil, what kind do you like to use? Coconut oil! Trust me when I say... this stuff is GOLD!

P: is for protein, how do you get yours? Chicken, Fish, Greek Yogurt, and Protein Shakes.

Q: is for Quaker, how do you like your oats? I like a warm bowl of Coach's Oats with flaxseeds, and honey.
R: is for roasting, what is your favorite thing to roast? Vegetables! Especially sweet potatoes and bell peppers!!

S: is for sandwich, what’s your favorite kind? I love Paradise Bakery's Turkey Cranberry and Chicken Walnut, but I also love cucumber tea sandwiches too! 

T: is for travel, how do you handle eating while traveling? Depends. If we're on a road trip, I'll pack a lunch (the hubs and I eat or drink protein every two to three hours). If we're on vaca, then we try to find sandwich shops, or order salads from a sit down restaurant. If we're 'splurging' we'll order a nice steak or seafood.

U: is for unique, what is one of your weirdest food combos? I guess it would be cottage cheese and salsa. I could sit down with a bowl of that, and a spoon! It's so yum!

V: is for vitamins, what kind do you take? I take a super delicious liquid multivitamin from Max Muscle called VitaCell! I swear by this stuff! I strongly suggest you find a Max Muscle near you, or you can order it online. It has made a world of difference to me! I also take Max EFAs (Essential Fatty Acids) and Max Liquid Carnitine both from Max Muscle.

W: is for wasabi, yay or nay? Big time Yay! I love Wasabi!

X: is for Xmas time treats, what is your favorite type? Any Christmas cookies made by my mom or my kids. I love Christmas cookies!! They bring me back to my childhood, since we've been making the same cookies for my whole life!! :-)

Y: is for youth, what food reminds you of your childhood? Didn't I just sort of answer this one? lol. I'd have to say Fideo and Tamales make me think of growing up. Also Potato Bubble!

Z: is for zucchini, how do you prepare it? Roast it or grill it.

This was a TON of FUN!! You should definitely do it, and link in my comments! I can't wait to read your answers!!

journal challenge

i joined my sweet friend Janel's journal challenge and I'm kinda excited about it!

((i know the lighting is bad... but i got these done tonight and i just wanted to get them uploaded. the next pages will have much better lighting... prom-prom!))
inside cover

prompt 1

prompt 2

you should totally join!! Go Here! ;-)

wee bit wednesday : recap

from wbw v.5

{one} do you believe in ghosts? Um, kinda. 

{two} are you more of a talker or more of a listener? Total talker. I think...

{three} would you rather get up early or sleep late? Sleep late... I am so NOT a morning person. 

{four} if you could instantly become an expert at one type of dance, what type would you choose? Latin dance, for sure!

{five} what's your favorite drink? Alcoholic: Orange Blossom beer. Nonalcoholic: Vanilla Tea or Chai Latte

{six} if your house caught fire and you could only grab three things, what would they be? Removable hard drive (with my pics on them) my wedding book (downstairs) and the scrapbooks downstairs.

{seven} if you could only visit one restaurant for the next five years, which would it be? Pure Sushi

{eight} who inspires you the most? Yikes! This one is tough. I'd have to go with my mom. She has been through some seriously tough times but she keeps pressing on. She's so much stronger than she gives herself credit for, and I hope to be as strong as her!!

{nine} if you had your own talk show, who would your first three guests be? Tosca Reno, Jamie Eason, and Adam Levine.

{ten} sneakers or sandals? Sandals... or as I call them, chanklas! hehe

June 1st

Happy Birthday Marilyn!
You would have been 85 today!!
© something Big is coming...
Maira Gall