My Way

For my 30th birthday, my Mom and Dad purchased tickets for the hubs and I to go see "My Way; A Musical Tribute to Frank Sinatra" at the Arizona Broadway Theatre. 

For me, this is bittersweet. I am really so excited to go and see this show, being such a Frank Sinatra fan. But it feels like the last little bit of my Dad thats still here. It was His thoughtful idea to purchase these tickets for me, just like it was his thoughtful idea to purchase season tickets to the ABT for him and my mother to go dine and see a show. Daddy's already paid for the next season (of course, the planner that he was) but he wont be here to see them. Their tickets to see this show are next Friday night. Mom wants to go, but with who. It won't be the same. Like I said, bittersweet.

In any case, I know that I will have a good time. I know that my Dad will be with me, enjoying the show through my eyes. How I wish I could talk to him about it. We'd been talking about this show since late spring.

Sigh. Bittersweet.

It is going to be a lovely night out. I am sure of it.

one month. today.

Christmas 2007 038, originally uploaded by azscrappinjen.

Dear Daddy,

I can't believe that it has already been an entire month that you've been gone. It feels like forever, and at the same time it feels like the blink of an eye.

Every day I miss you more and more. I feel like the pain will never go away. The pain of missing you so deeply.

I'm doing my very best, trying to take care of Mom and Lisa, they way you would want me to (be a big sister). I don't know if I'm doing things right or not. I hope so.

I wish you were here. I wish I could talk to you. Hear your voice. I wish I could have one more bear hug.

I miss you Daddy. I really REALLY miss you!! But I am so incredibly thankful that I even got you at all. You are the best Daddy in the whole entire world.

Can't wait to see you again.

Love Always,
Your Sunshine

i like to drive

mirror view, originally uploaded by azscrappinjen.

one of my favorite things that my family used to do when i was growing up was 'sunday drives'. we'd all pack up in the car and drive as far north south east or west as we could and find some place new to explore. i'm sure that my daddy had a plan, but we didn't know it. it was an adventure! it was family time, it was spontaneous and exciting.
even now, as an adult, i'll jump in the car and just 'take a drive'. it's one of my favorite things to do. like, ever. it clears my head, and fills my heart.
right now, i'd really love to go for a drive. maybe...

generic? or no?

okay, it's been nearly a week and I just can't stay away from blogging. this is my place, and I can say or do whatever the hockeysticks i want!

so today, i'm back. and starting out slow... with a most generic (or no)...

1.   The first thing I do in the morning to start my day is       shower and plan my day in my head  .

2.  Today I wish I was   staying home creating something fun, like a mini-scrapbook or cupcakes  .

3.  If I had an extra $100 in my bank account today I'd       take my mom shopping at the Cottage Garden Too in downtown Glendale, AZ   .

4.  Tomorrow     I'll be home with all five kids, catching up with housecleaning and laundry and hopefully getting my mom to spend the day at my house with me .

5.  Two things that don't go together are     drinking and driving .

6.  Something I can never pass up at the grocery store is        metro mint water   .

7.  The last time I tried something new was        pole dancing! fun fun fun and my new favorite way to exercise, no joke    .

If you wanna play, link up at Lauren's!

i'm scared to blog...

isn't that weird.
i feel scared to blog because i don't want this to be a place of negativity and darkness. and right now, all i can see is darkness. it's surrounding me and taking me in. i don't want to be sad. i don't want to share my sadness, even though i know those who love me will lift me up. ugh. this whole thing is so weird.

i think i need a little time.
a little light.
a little inspiration.

so please, if you have any of that, send it on over. i would greatly appreciate it.
and please don't worry about me. i am a strong girl. i am my fathers daughter. and i will get through all this. i just thought it best to share with my readers where i am.
i will be back. hopefully sooner, than later.

beautiful

i think this is one of the most beautiful photos i've seen in a really long time. it makes my heart beat.

found on Ruffled Blog. Go there to see the rest of this amazing couple's engagement photo shoot.

F as in Friday

Well, it's Friday, and I have survived the week. I use the word survived because I feel as though I'm not going to make it through every day. As the week passes the days get longer, how weird is that. I used to jump for joy for TGIF, and now I'm dragging my feet through quicksand.

All in all, I would have to say that I am getting by just fine. I have my sad days, like today. Wednesday was two weeks (already) since my Daddy passed away. I have trouble knowing what day is what. People around me have to remind me ten times that today is Friday.

The family is all okay. Momma is doing as well as she can be. I've been staying with her, which I find comforting to myself, but also painful and heartbreaking to see her heart literally breaking in front of me and there is nothing more I can do but just hold her and hug her and tell her how much I love her.

Trying to get kids back on school schedule, dinners prepared, laundry and general cleaning around my house has been difficult. I can't even tell you how thankful I am for my husband to be helping and giving 190% to everything, even after an entire day of work. I'm so grateful, and so proud that our family is pulling together during this difficult time.

I thought today I would try blog some 'Fill In The Blank Friday'... trying to get me feeling normal and out of the funk. So, here goes.

1.   True happiness is       knowing love, and knowing Gods love.

2.  The most surreal moment of my life was   when my Daddy passed away. The entire experience from his shell to his beautiful funeral to burying him, it's hard for me to grasp that I just went through all that.

3.  My favorite texture is       soft and fluffy .

4.  My signature color is     pink. I have to say pink. I love wearing it, it's just so girly, and I am really girly.

5.  My signature style is     yikes, I don't think I have one. I like comfy clothes, I'm usually a jeans and top girl, dresses are fun too (I'm wearing one today) but Shoes... always Shoes with me. Yum.

6.  If I could choose one store to spend my life savings at, it would be       oh goodness, I want to say DSW because of their shoe heaven, but I would say Macys. They have everything (including designers) and their shoe dept is nothing to joke about .

7.  My best thing about autumn is      baking, probably. Chocolate-covered pretzel sticks, candied apples, apple pie, pumpkin pie, pumpkin bars, roasted fall vegetables, white chili, butternut squash soup, popcorn balls, lol. I'm hungry now! 

Link up at Lauren's!

Have a lovely weekend, if I don't talk to ya before then!

Muah!