Oh change, how you scare me so.
There are so many things happening in my life right now. Even before they began, I could feel it coming, like the first soft blow of air before the gusts of wind turn into the tornado they were always meant to be.
I dislike change, mainly because the unknown makes me uneasy. Actually (truth be told) the unknown terrifies me, keeping me contained to the bubble I live in. It's a cozy bubble.
However, change is indeed, inevitable. We grow, we try, we succeed, we fail, we learn.
We make choices.
I like to think that almost always we base our decisions on what is best for ourselves at that particular time in our life. When you are a parent, the decision-making extends to what is best for our children, our family, as well as our self. I honor and respect these decisions, because I know they are not easy.
When the dust settles, I know that I will be okay. I will know that the decisions I make are the right ones for Me, right now, and that my decisions will benefit my children, and my family.
While my heart is painfully sad and aching at the expense of change, I will carry my memories close as I enter a new path on my journey.
It is scary, letting go of the way things were. Leaving the comfort of schedule and repetition and the known, the expected. I am apprehensive to make any move, forward or otherwise. I do, however, know that we can not move backwards, no matter how hard we try.
Surprisingly (and thankfully) I am optimistic. My heart lives in a place that says in this lifetime, anything is possible. I breathe this, in and out every day.
I don't know exactly what lies ahead. I do know that I will find out.
Where I go from here is up to God.