i think i'm finding myself again...


It's been a long time since I've felt the tiniest bit like the Me before Daddy passed away. Lately there have been moments, small but not insignificant, that I can see life again, feel possibility, smile and laugh and actually mean it. Here are a few of those moments...

- I don't cry everyday but I still hurt, and I don't anticipate the pain going anywhere soon. And that is okay. 

- I got back on the treadmill for the first time in a long time. Running one mile kicked my bootay pretty good, but I was filled with joy just to have accomplished it.

- I scrapbooked. Nothing I would say I'm exactly proud of other than the act of actually doing it... man I'm out of practice!

- I painted today. No I don't mean the walls. I painted on canvas. Nothing grand or glorious, just brush to canvas and let go.

- I made cupcakes this morning. Yes, I did. AND I didn't even taste them!

Like I said, in no means are these big life-changing events... but they are small acts that have reminded me that I am still here, even if covered in the dark thick veil of greif.

One step at a time... baby steps...
Thank you for your support.


Tiffany said...

You are amazing Jen!!! I am so proud of you! These are huge steps, not just baby steps!! It is the hardest thing to begin to feel normal again~ I think you are doing great!
Thinking of you!
Love, Tiffany

Gina said...

You just keep doing what you're doing! Staying busy is always the best thing. Glad to hear you're doing better, little by little it will get better.

© something Big is coming...
Maira Gall